I have no idea how it was like for you growing up as a child, but for me, my childhood were filled with dreams, fantasies, stories of fairies, princesses, sword fights, elves, wizards... I flew high among the stars, I fought with big evil dragons, I danced with my prince charming... I had it all, I was what I wanted to be, I was basically a nerd. With my nose stuck in books after books of fantasies.
Besides my love for reading passed on to me by my father, I danced too. I took ballet classes since when I could remember. This love was passed down by my mother who said, "When I was young, I always wanted to learn Ballet but we were poor. Now I bring you to learn Ballet".
I remember my first lesson. I was wearing a dress and together with my sister, we went into this huge empty space brightly lit and full of mirrors. We were soon running around and before I knew it, we were taking Ballet classes. One month later would see a little me stubbornly refusing (for reasons that I couldn't fathom even then) to go into class, clingling tightly to my mother. Soon, I was going for Ballet class every Saturday, to sit and watch my sister take classes.
You would think that the teacher and dancer you see now would have taken to dance like ducks to water, but I didn't like dance when I first started. In fact, I refused to take classes. So my very kind teacher then allowed me to sit in the class and watch my sister and her dance mates learn all the steps. It took a year for my mum to coax me back to join the class. I have to thank my teacher, Ms Ho & my dear mum for their determination and persistence to put me into dance school. (in hindsight, I really don't know why they were so persistent, but I'm thankful they were!) After that, I fell in love with Ballet and the rest is history.
You would think that I was a great dancer from young... I was good, but not the best. I was above average but not the best, at least I thought so. I was a strong dancer (ok in terms of technique), but didn't have a clue about how to be expressive when dancing. My teacher used to get a fellow student of mine to demonstrate 'expression' in class, while I was usually amongst those called out to demonstrate technique. I used to look at her and wonder what did she have that I didn't, and why didn't I look like her? It used to puzzle my little mind...
Things changed for me one day when I decided that I would play a little game everytime I danced. I painted my fantasy world around me with each dance. I imagined that I was dancing in the most beautiful places: beautiful meadows, gorgeous waterfalls, etc. The classroom faded out of sight and the music transported me into my fantasy world with sparkling sunshine, lush greenery, astounding snow-capped mountains and pristine lakes. And suddenly, my teacher was praising me for having great expression and I was being called to demonstrate "expression". I thought nothing of it, and was a bit sheepish that I was bored and hence distracted myself in class with this game... "So this is what expression is about?" I asked myself, "just imagine that you have amazing scenery around you and get lost in that?" It seemed so... superficial, I didn't dare say how I did it.
But it brought my dancing into a whole new level. I scored the highest in class that year for exams (first time ever and I had been dancing for 4-5 years then). I also won a junior Ballet competition that very year. I was so young, I didn't even know what happened... All I knew was that I could spin quite well because I had saw the prima donna in the Nutcracker dancing and was happily copying her at home and pretending to be her and doing all her spins and jumps; and I was daydreaming in class, trying to create (in my imagination) the best scenery to dance to. Ahhh... the marvelous thoughts of a little child...
I guess all these experiences (and more) taught me some things about expression... You have to dare to do it; so long as you try, people will give you credit for trying and if you keep checking on your expression, you will get it the way you want it to look eventually.
Also, technique is only half the marks that the judge will give you. You can have perfect technique, but that will only give you 50% of the marks. The rest comes from your expression. The way I see it, our steps are not perfect/complete unless your have the right 'feel' / expression in place. Also, expression is something that is special because it comes from the heart; it's personal and unique. No 2 people will have the same feel (unless they work very hard to look the same).
Many people are scared to express themselves when they dance, feeling vulnerable. But i always tell them this:
1) People will give them credit for trying, and will support you for trying. Your expression doesn't have to be perfect, you just have to try. If you are good, others will compliment you; if it's not that good (yet), others will commend you for trying. I have seen students who are 'favorites' when performing because their faces are so entertaining, and people cheer them on for putting on a good 'face', even though it is not the most perfect.
2) Practice it now, when you are training so that you can have a good guess how it will look like when you try to use it when you perform/ compete. Many people put expression in the back burner, telling themselves that they will smile when they need to, and they always realize that it is not always the case when they see themselves later on video (it's too late by then though).
3) By trying to put at least some kind of expression, you will give me something to work on to correct you. I can't comment, correct or teach you expression if you don't try. If the face just clams up into what I call "zombie" mode, there is nothing to correct; expression is simply not there. It's like me asking them to do a bodywave and them refusing to do it. I can't correct it if I can't see it.
People kinda assume that expression is a given, it's instinct and it's either you have it or you don't. Consider this: expressions (happiness, sadness, mischievousness) are controlled by muscles. If you put in so much effort training your body muscles to perfect your techniques like spins, splits, jumps... Why can't you put in as much effort learning how to control your facial muscles? Sure it doesn't look good when you first start, but neither did your spins or your bodywaves look good at the beginning.
Another food for thought: If expressions are natural and instinctive, then how to actors make a living? Why do they go to acting classes? How do they make themselves cry/ be angry/ meek/ chirpy when they need to do so on screen? Simply put, they practice them. In fact, most acting classes contain a lot of practical exercises that focus on loosing your inhibitions and becoming less self conscious.
Wednesday, July 31
The Reversal of Roles in Salsa Tourism
My essay on Salsa for the Sociology of Tourism, one I did in school... I think I had some interesting observations, but din have much time to write it down properly.... Oh well, maybe next time I'll edit it. I'm posting it here in case I loose my essay, like I did my last one on gender relations!
Authenticity vs. Homogeneity
Salsa tourism is the gathering of salsa dancers from all over the world in a place which organizes a festival or congress (e.g., Hong Kong) where world renowned instructors teach, perform and social dance in the event which spans at least 4 days. These stars are brought in from all over the world to attract locals and tourists alike to participate in the festival. They show off their famously unique moves during the festivals and are hailed as authentic salsa dancers with original and unique moves that define the borders of salsa[1]. A person participating in the festival can be what Cohen calls an “experiential tourist” who seeks out the “mystified” experience of meeting these famous dancers in person, watching them perform, learning from them, and also, dancing with them (1979a, 1985 quoted in Mowforth and Munt, 74; MacCannell, 102). Participants also come to see new dance steps that have been invented and discovered, and they have a desire for these real, authentic experiences that can lead them to discover more about themselves and the dance (Inglis, 6).
Famous dancers have a huge following of dancers who will emulate their dance style and dressing. An example is Frankie Martinez and the Korean salsa scene. Top dancers emulate his dance style and dressing: Martinez likes to hold the bottom ends of his shirt and toy with it while he dances; many dancers in Korea do that. He has a certain unique style that consists of very quick footwork interspersed with slow body isolations, which is also emulated in Korea. Many of his performances have been adapted; e.g., he dressed like a pirate in one of his performances in Korea and in the Hong Kong Salsa Festival 2006, a performer emerged in clothing that was cut and ripped to look like rags that a pirate would wear, dancing in a style that was clearly adapted from Martinez’s. A point to note here is the disjuncture between what is said and what is done. Salsa advocates creativity and innovativeness in its dance. New styles are vigorously praised, and yet, they are furiously replicated.
Salsa tourism, which encourages the sharing of knowledge in salsa, thus raises the problem of homogeneity. With the massive copying of the “authentic”, the dancing scene becomes resoundingly duplicated as people imitate the dances, style, dressing and even music of their idols. This, however, is encouraged by the stars and the organizers behind the salsa festivals: imitation implies that the dancer is famous, and this ensures that he does not run out of business because his idols will pay to see him dance and teach. They will also buy his instructional DVDs and take additional classes from him. These will increase his status, wealth and power within the salsa scene. Mowforth and Munt (2003) in Tourism and Sustainability: Development and New Tourism in the Third World defined ideology as “the way relationships of power are inexorably interwoven in the production and representation of meaning which serves the interests of a particular social group” (46). The ideology of the authentic salsa dancer is endorsed by the festival organizers who commodify and sell him in the festival, thereby giving the dancer a good reputation which allows both of them to benefit. This commodification of a person is similar to that of a pop star, and in the context of salsa festivals, the more popular an artiste is, the higher price he fetches. Salsa festivals and celebrities survive on this commodification of the authentic good: the dancer.
As we have seen so far, salsa tourism attracts tourists to a locality by promising an experience of a lifetime in dancing with the top salsa dancers in the world. This commodification of the celebrity dancer has imperialist undertones: the world renowned dancers are from USA and Europe, largely colonial countries. This is due to the fact that Salsa was popularized in the USA and spread to Europe and then to Asia (where it is still relatively new). The salsa ‘hub’ is viewed to be in Los Angeles and New York, an environment whereby the standard is the highest and where most of the famous dancers originate. The inconsistent developments in the standard of dancing result in the unequal structural relationships in the salsa tourism industry whereby the less developed Asian countries adopt a more passive role in the festival by idolizing the celebrity dancers from the west and paying them to endorse their festivals (Stephen Britton quoted in Mowforth and Munt, 49-50).
Role Reversal
There are four categories of people we see in salsa festivals: the overseas artists, the local artists, the overseas participants and the local participants. My focus here is on the overseas artists in the festival. As clearly evident in the preceding paragraphs, the “authentic” commodity in salsa tourism is not the local culture or heritage but the tourists – the overseas artists – themselves. As such, there is a role reversal in salsa tourism, whereby the authentic is the tourist who makes himself the object of attention. Through the overseas artists, salsa tourism effectively draws overseas salsa fanatics into the country. Moreover, it also entices the local crowd to participate. However, unlike other forms of tourism, the locals are not the object of focus here; they are like local tourists, who come to see the “authentic”, and may undergo a liminal phase which temporarily “suspends” them from their norm to indulge in play and fantasy like a tourist (Tucker, 151).
In social dancing[2], the artists are the objects of the participants’ gaze (Urry, 1990a quoted in Mowforth and Munt, 72). These participants consume the “other” - the professional dancer - in their efforts to reach the romanticized perfection of dancing salsa (Lippard, 2-5; Mowforth and Munt, 73). The dancers are video-recorded and photographed, and it is a thrill for the participants to dance with them, which is all part of the experience of the salsa festival. This is similar to Tucker’s “living museum”, where tourists interact with the locals in what they view as the natural environment of the local in their quest for the authentic experience (149). In this case, the social environment where the dancers are dancing socially and not a choreographed routine is the dancer’s natural environment and it is here that the participants want to interact with them by dancing with them.
Unlike the normal form of tourism, the fetish[3] of the salsa participants to see and experience the authentic and real dancer is not necessarily bad for the celebrity. The main reason is because the power relationship in this form of tourism is different from the regular kind. As mentioned, the artiste benefits from his fame. In a normal tourism structure, the power lies in the hands of the first world country that flocks to third world countries to view the exotic “other”. This is due to the fact that the third world is reliant on the first world to market their country and organize the tourists to go to their country (Mowforth and Munt, 50). In salsa tourism, the power still lies in the hands of the first world (e.g., USA). The difference is in that the exotic Other is the first world tourists themselves who have the power to choose which country to go to. Moreover, they are not subjected to the whims and fancies of the participants who come to see them; this is drastically different from the “helpful, smiling and servile” local who serve the tourists on a typical tour (Mowforth and Munt, 64). Rather, these performers are worshipped and held in high regard as the exotic and talented Other whom the participants idolize and seek to emulate.
Therefore, salsa tourism is a new form of tourism that is an institutionalized bubble which is set up by the West to accumulate capital from the “rest”. It enables them to go to a place where salsa is less developed, so that they have a chance to “play” at being a celebrity and be idolized by participants (Tucker, 151). This is not very different from the tourists who go to third world countries to be pampered by the locals and indulge in luxuries (Inglis, 6). In this case, the tourist gaze is intentionally fixed on the dancer, who thrives in the idolization of being the superior Other. The fetish becomes like worship, which is but another form of imperialism.
Conclusion
Although salsa tourism has imperialist undertones, one can see the emergence of the resistance to it. As Asia catches up in the salsa scene, there is the emergence of new dancers who are striving to re-invent their identity, resisting the inferior implications of their dancing (Tucker, 157). This was seen in the Hong Kong Open Salsa Competition held in the festival, where couples from India, Korea and Singapore emerged with a unique style of their own that can pose a strong challenge to the domination from the west. This may bring about a balance in the unequal opportunities that have arisen in the salsa tourism sphere and redefining the power relations within Salsa tourism.
Bibliography
Inglis, Fred (2000) The Delicious History of the Holiday, chapter 1, New York: Routledge.
Lippard, Lucy R. (1999) “Introduction: On Rubbernecking”, in On the Beaten Track. Tourism, Art and Place, New York: New York Press
MacCannell, Dean (1976) “Staged Authenticity”, in The Tourist: A New Theory of the Leisure Class, Introduction, New York: Schocken Books, ch. 5.
Mowforth, M. and Munt, I. (2003) Tourism and Sustainability: Development and New Tourism in the Third World, London and New York: Routledge, ch.3
Tucker, Hazel (2002) “Welcome to Flintstone’s Land: Contesting Place and Identity in Goreme, Central Turkey” in Tourism: between place and performance, edited by Simon Coleman and Mike Crang, Oxford: Berghan.
Footnotes
[1] Usually what are authentic are the famous names that are endorsed by the Salsa scene in the world, with Los Angeles and New York leading the way. Dances that are a hot favorite among the audience are strongly endorsed and “authenticated” by the salsa population. The “unauthentic” are disliked and not endorsed by anyone.
[2] Social dance, unlike performance, is deemed to be a natural setting in dance, much like a backstage (MacCannell). This is due to the fact that social dancing is not choreographed with one’s partner or with the music, and deemed to be instinctive and “made up” intuitively to the mood of the music. This is compared to a performance, which is choreographed and clearly staged for the audience (a front stage).
[3] Fetish is defined in Mowforth and Munt (2003) to be the underlying way in which social relationships of production are disguised or covered up (67).
Authenticity vs. Homogeneity
Salsa tourism is the gathering of salsa dancers from all over the world in a place which organizes a festival or congress (e.g., Hong Kong) where world renowned instructors teach, perform and social dance in the event which spans at least 4 days. These stars are brought in from all over the world to attract locals and tourists alike to participate in the festival. They show off their famously unique moves during the festivals and are hailed as authentic salsa dancers with original and unique moves that define the borders of salsa[1]. A person participating in the festival can be what Cohen calls an “experiential tourist” who seeks out the “mystified” experience of meeting these famous dancers in person, watching them perform, learning from them, and also, dancing with them (1979a, 1985 quoted in Mowforth and Munt, 74; MacCannell, 102). Participants also come to see new dance steps that have been invented and discovered, and they have a desire for these real, authentic experiences that can lead them to discover more about themselves and the dance (Inglis, 6).
Famous dancers have a huge following of dancers who will emulate their dance style and dressing. An example is Frankie Martinez and the Korean salsa scene. Top dancers emulate his dance style and dressing: Martinez likes to hold the bottom ends of his shirt and toy with it while he dances; many dancers in Korea do that. He has a certain unique style that consists of very quick footwork interspersed with slow body isolations, which is also emulated in Korea. Many of his performances have been adapted; e.g., he dressed like a pirate in one of his performances in Korea and in the Hong Kong Salsa Festival 2006, a performer emerged in clothing that was cut and ripped to look like rags that a pirate would wear, dancing in a style that was clearly adapted from Martinez’s. A point to note here is the disjuncture between what is said and what is done. Salsa advocates creativity and innovativeness in its dance. New styles are vigorously praised, and yet, they are furiously replicated.
Salsa tourism, which encourages the sharing of knowledge in salsa, thus raises the problem of homogeneity. With the massive copying of the “authentic”, the dancing scene becomes resoundingly duplicated as people imitate the dances, style, dressing and even music of their idols. This, however, is encouraged by the stars and the organizers behind the salsa festivals: imitation implies that the dancer is famous, and this ensures that he does not run out of business because his idols will pay to see him dance and teach. They will also buy his instructional DVDs and take additional classes from him. These will increase his status, wealth and power within the salsa scene. Mowforth and Munt (2003) in Tourism and Sustainability: Development and New Tourism in the Third World defined ideology as “the way relationships of power are inexorably interwoven in the production and representation of meaning which serves the interests of a particular social group” (46). The ideology of the authentic salsa dancer is endorsed by the festival organizers who commodify and sell him in the festival, thereby giving the dancer a good reputation which allows both of them to benefit. This commodification of a person is similar to that of a pop star, and in the context of salsa festivals, the more popular an artiste is, the higher price he fetches. Salsa festivals and celebrities survive on this commodification of the authentic good: the dancer.
As we have seen so far, salsa tourism attracts tourists to a locality by promising an experience of a lifetime in dancing with the top salsa dancers in the world. This commodification of the celebrity dancer has imperialist undertones: the world renowned dancers are from USA and Europe, largely colonial countries. This is due to the fact that Salsa was popularized in the USA and spread to Europe and then to Asia (where it is still relatively new). The salsa ‘hub’ is viewed to be in Los Angeles and New York, an environment whereby the standard is the highest and where most of the famous dancers originate. The inconsistent developments in the standard of dancing result in the unequal structural relationships in the salsa tourism industry whereby the less developed Asian countries adopt a more passive role in the festival by idolizing the celebrity dancers from the west and paying them to endorse their festivals (Stephen Britton quoted in Mowforth and Munt, 49-50).
Role Reversal
There are four categories of people we see in salsa festivals: the overseas artists, the local artists, the overseas participants and the local participants. My focus here is on the overseas artists in the festival. As clearly evident in the preceding paragraphs, the “authentic” commodity in salsa tourism is not the local culture or heritage but the tourists – the overseas artists – themselves. As such, there is a role reversal in salsa tourism, whereby the authentic is the tourist who makes himself the object of attention. Through the overseas artists, salsa tourism effectively draws overseas salsa fanatics into the country. Moreover, it also entices the local crowd to participate. However, unlike other forms of tourism, the locals are not the object of focus here; they are like local tourists, who come to see the “authentic”, and may undergo a liminal phase which temporarily “suspends” them from their norm to indulge in play and fantasy like a tourist (Tucker, 151).
In social dancing[2], the artists are the objects of the participants’ gaze (Urry, 1990a quoted in Mowforth and Munt, 72). These participants consume the “other” - the professional dancer - in their efforts to reach the romanticized perfection of dancing salsa (Lippard, 2-5; Mowforth and Munt, 73). The dancers are video-recorded and photographed, and it is a thrill for the participants to dance with them, which is all part of the experience of the salsa festival. This is similar to Tucker’s “living museum”, where tourists interact with the locals in what they view as the natural environment of the local in their quest for the authentic experience (149). In this case, the social environment where the dancers are dancing socially and not a choreographed routine is the dancer’s natural environment and it is here that the participants want to interact with them by dancing with them.
Unlike the normal form of tourism, the fetish[3] of the salsa participants to see and experience the authentic and real dancer is not necessarily bad for the celebrity. The main reason is because the power relationship in this form of tourism is different from the regular kind. As mentioned, the artiste benefits from his fame. In a normal tourism structure, the power lies in the hands of the first world country that flocks to third world countries to view the exotic “other”. This is due to the fact that the third world is reliant on the first world to market their country and organize the tourists to go to their country (Mowforth and Munt, 50). In salsa tourism, the power still lies in the hands of the first world (e.g., USA). The difference is in that the exotic Other is the first world tourists themselves who have the power to choose which country to go to. Moreover, they are not subjected to the whims and fancies of the participants who come to see them; this is drastically different from the “helpful, smiling and servile” local who serve the tourists on a typical tour (Mowforth and Munt, 64). Rather, these performers are worshipped and held in high regard as the exotic and talented Other whom the participants idolize and seek to emulate.
Therefore, salsa tourism is a new form of tourism that is an institutionalized bubble which is set up by the West to accumulate capital from the “rest”. It enables them to go to a place where salsa is less developed, so that they have a chance to “play” at being a celebrity and be idolized by participants (Tucker, 151). This is not very different from the tourists who go to third world countries to be pampered by the locals and indulge in luxuries (Inglis, 6). In this case, the tourist gaze is intentionally fixed on the dancer, who thrives in the idolization of being the superior Other. The fetish becomes like worship, which is but another form of imperialism.
Conclusion
Although salsa tourism has imperialist undertones, one can see the emergence of the resistance to it. As Asia catches up in the salsa scene, there is the emergence of new dancers who are striving to re-invent their identity, resisting the inferior implications of their dancing (Tucker, 157). This was seen in the Hong Kong Open Salsa Competition held in the festival, where couples from India, Korea and Singapore emerged with a unique style of their own that can pose a strong challenge to the domination from the west. This may bring about a balance in the unequal opportunities that have arisen in the salsa tourism sphere and redefining the power relations within Salsa tourism.
Bibliography
Inglis, Fred (2000) The Delicious History of the Holiday, chapter 1, New York: Routledge.
Lippard, Lucy R. (1999) “Introduction: On Rubbernecking”, in On the Beaten Track. Tourism, Art and Place, New York: New York Press
MacCannell, Dean (1976) “Staged Authenticity”, in The Tourist: A New Theory of the Leisure Class, Introduction, New York: Schocken Books, ch. 5.
Mowforth, M. and Munt, I. (2003) Tourism and Sustainability: Development and New Tourism in the Third World, London and New York: Routledge, ch.3
Tucker, Hazel (2002) “Welcome to Flintstone’s Land: Contesting Place and Identity in Goreme, Central Turkey” in Tourism: between place and performance, edited by Simon Coleman and Mike Crang, Oxford: Berghan.
Footnotes
[1] Usually what are authentic are the famous names that are endorsed by the Salsa scene in the world, with Los Angeles and New York leading the way. Dances that are a hot favorite among the audience are strongly endorsed and “authenticated” by the salsa population. The “unauthentic” are disliked and not endorsed by anyone.
[2] Social dance, unlike performance, is deemed to be a natural setting in dance, much like a backstage (MacCannell). This is due to the fact that social dancing is not choreographed with one’s partner or with the music, and deemed to be instinctive and “made up” intuitively to the mood of the music. This is compared to a performance, which is choreographed and clearly staged for the audience (a front stage).
[3] Fetish is defined in Mowforth and Munt (2003) to be the underlying way in which social relationships of production are disguised or covered up (67).
My In-Charge
It is not I but you who runs this place.
You will take care of the people.
You will take care of the accounts, the finance.
You are head of our sales and marketing department.
It is not I but You who teaches the students and plans their growth.
You chart our future and growth.
It is not You helping me to do things; I am just an empty vessel.
You are the one doing ALL the brain work, the leg work, the planning work, Everything.
I can't do it and I don't want your help to make me do it.
I want You to do it; coz I can't do it like You do.
You are my boss,
You are my present,
You are my future.
I don't want to be in charge; You are my in charge.
No longer You helping me to run my life (where I still have to run it, I still have a say in matters, I make all the decisions, You only help).
Now You will bypass me to run my life.
My only decision is to let You run it.
I only have to flow with it.
I only have to rest in it.
Zech 3-4
You will take care of the people.
You will take care of the accounts, the finance.
You are head of our sales and marketing department.
It is not I but You who teaches the students and plans their growth.
You chart our future and growth.
It is not You helping me to do things; I am just an empty vessel.
You are the one doing ALL the brain work, the leg work, the planning work, Everything.
I can't do it and I don't want your help to make me do it.
I want You to do it; coz I can't do it like You do.
You are my boss,
You are my present,
You are my future.
I don't want to be in charge; You are my in charge.
No longer You helping me to run my life (where I still have to run it, I still have a say in matters, I make all the decisions, You only help).
Now You will bypass me to run my life.
My only decision is to let You run it.
I only have to flow with it.
I only have to rest in it.
Zech 3-4
Thursday, July 11
What Men & Women want, how to find the right kind of people, and how does dancing help!
Why dating events are good way of meeting ppl...
In events (and my area of expertise is dance), participants
are put in situations / activities and it's a great place to see how ppl
behave in situations. High-stress situations can show how we react to
stresses in our life, especially when we are out of our element.
After
viewing the dating show, 'it's a date', you get to see how ppl react
and the impression it leaves on others. Of course it doesn't truly
reflect our normal characters, but we can learn from these situations and learn how to react and
how not to behave.
Another
interesting observation is that the best looking ones are not the
winners here. Rather, the most adorable girl or the most 'damsel in
distress' get picked; the guy that can make the girls feel
the most comfortable and who take charge without being dominating tends
to win out in this game.
Is
it really a surprise? Not really. Even though it seems obvious when we sit down n think about it, somehow
on the superficial level we tend to forget it. Men like to help women, but not be taken advantage of. When they can help out, they feel important and useful. But the thing they hate most is to be taken advantage of. They like to be respected. (Actually this applies to women too!) When it comes to dating and relationships, many women tend to forget that, and usually, that's when things go haywire.
Women, on the other hand, like men who can entertain them; men who can tell jokes and can see humor in things that they do can make women laugh and that's important to them. They like men with quiet confidence, who are secure in who they are, but who also respect them, who can take charge when needed, but is not domineering.
Actually, when we take a step back and see, we can tell that the qualities that we are looking for are the same, be it for a man or woman. We are all looking for someone who is comfortable in their own skin, and are secure in who they are. We are looking for someone who can find humor in things they do, with a zest for life, but who also can be serious and get things done when needed. Someone responsible, but who doesn't take themselves too seriously and can laugh at themselves if needed. We also like people who respect us, and by respecting, it means that they take the time to listen (not dominate), and are not afraid to change their minds if they feel that their partner has a better solution to problems.
Looking at this, it seems that the qualities we are looking for are character qualities, not superficial qualities. However, our actions don't necessarily reflect this. For
example, we seem to automatically gravitate towards better looking,
attractive ppl and place the less attractive ones on the sidelines, especially in situations that only allow for short interactions. Nobody likes being labelled and stereotyped, but we tend to do so -all to some degree - because sometimes we don't have the time to learn more about each other.
Teaching many ppl how to dance and seeing many interactions between people has opened my eyes to a lot of things (though I don't claim to be an expert). I have learnt to understand characters by their responses (mannerisms and speech). I also learn to understand them by their innate unconscious responses in daily menial tasks. People who spontaneously help out without asking, who offer assistance in things are the keepers. They may not be the best speakers or the most charming, but they 'got your back' and will help when you need. These are true friends; whether they become more than friends, time will tell. But I want them in my life as friends and buddies because I know I will have a great time in whatever we do.
Some people go around frantically from boyfriend to boyfriend (or girlfriend to girlfriend) trying to find the someone who 'completes' them. I heard this from my pastor talking about BGR and find it to be so true. If you find someone because he/she completes the other half of you, it never works. After a while, you will still find that part of you empty. You need to first be comfortable, secure and confident in your own skin, find someone who is also comfortable and secure in his/her own skin, and come together to become 200% (100% + 100% = 200%, not 50% + 50% = 100%). Needy people are hard to build life together with as they consume a lot of your energy, you spend time fighting fires (reassuring doubts) rather than growing together. A 'whole' person (for want of a better word) doesn't necessarily need to be super confident and doesn't need to know everything... the opposite actually...
That whole person is wise / humble enough to know that he/she doesn't know everything, and is comfortable with that. He/she doesn't feel a need to demonstrate how much he/she knows; but is more concerned about the welfare of others rather than what others think of him/her. We are attracted to people who give, rather than people who take. Rather than trying to get or find the right person for you, work on being the right person and you will attract the right kind of people,and have many people for you to choose from.
And now where does dancing come into play with all these? (Dance is my life so of course it comes into play! haha...) I may be traditional in thinking, but I feel that there is an element to dancing (partner dances) that subtly and inevitably teaches men and women to behave in certain ways that works in a relationship...
I'm gonna just touch on the surface here, otherwise it will be too long to read. When 2 people come together to dance, the men leads; the woman has to be willing to be led (she has to let him lead). Note that she is not a docile obedient piece of equipment for him to push and pull around, but a living and breathing body that is placed in his hands to guide. He has to cherish her, take care of her, lead her into amazing moves that she otherwise would not be able to do on her own. The lady, by releasing her will to him and allowing him to take over control of her movements, must learn to flow within his movements. She is not 'mindless'; she is balanced on her own, she moves her own feet, etc, but the catch is that she moves in sync with him. She has to learn to listen to his cues in order to flow with him. She assists by supporting him and following him if he falters.
The man has to plan his moves, and the planning of his moves includes his partner's, and move both of them to flow together so that they both move in sync together flowing from one movement to the next. The key is that in order for them to move fluidly together, they have to learn how to communicate: listen to each other's movements, and react to accommodate and flow from one movement to the next. It's a piece of art that is different with every partner, and someone who understands this can relate it to life.
Of course it's not an exact science and there are other things to observe, but I find this to be true and feel that this kinda helps us to become better partners in a relationship. =)
Tuesday, June 18
Student Performance Jun 2013
Haven't blogged in a long while, let's check out if the writing muscles are still there. We had our latest student recital over the weekend...
Amazingly, after all these years of performing, I can still get excited over our recital and performances. I think it’s because I like doing the choreography and dancing to the music... And the hidden exhibitionist in me is excited to legitimately shed it’s protective covering. Or maybe it’s the fact that I get to immerse myself in dancing and performing rather than just watching, correcting and teaching. Although I really do enjoy teaching, there are times when just dancing happily ‘without a care in the world’ can be so soothing for the soul.
The minor glitch with certain customers before the show helped to feed my emotions as I poured my frustrations in the dance in the first segment. And that’s one of the main reasons why dancing is so addictive. Whatever probelms you’re facing or overwhelming emotions that you are facing that day, you can just throw it away temporarily, forget about past things that happened, and not worrying about the future. Dancing is a very NOW thing. Although it’s less so with the invention of videos, to fully experience and appreciate dance, it must occur in the Now. It’s a very physical and present thing that consumes your energy and focus. It’s a wonderful distraction and if you know how to, a great way to channel excess energies and frustration away.
After these few weeks of feeling slightly overwhelmed and slightly inferior to many people in my life (dun ask why I just do sometimes... Maybe it's to remind me of my humility), even discouraged by my inability to handle things, I realize one thing, that I truly have been blessed and graced in the dance and teaching department. That even though I dun quite know what I’m doing sometimes, it works out great and I’m constantly learning. If anything, teaching challenges me to be a better person, to encourage, support and motivate people to do things that they may not think they would do, but then surprise themselves in the end. That in itself is a great reward and money can’t buy that kind of joy we have. In conclusion, I see this: my world may be small, and my influence not that great, but the lives that I touch, I try my best to nurture and I do see the changes in their lives. If anything, I understand one thing: everyone wants someone to care and someone to love. It may not be romance but it can be family. We may not like each other all the time, but we love and we care for one another and we're willing to sort out our differences. That’s what makes the difference.
Surprisingly, I was excited about the performance tonight. Maybe because I liked the dances I did, or because there were many newbies in the group and I was excited for them, but I felt great: young and new again... or maybe it was that I simply got the chance to show my love of dance to others...
Although the show went by in a flash, the actual performances kinda went like slow motion for me; I actualy had time to think of doing the right expression, the next step, etc. It’s kinda weird that I didn’t feel it go rushing by as I usually do. But it made the fun more complete as I got the time to savor the dances. Role playing was rather fun and I must say that it’s been a while since I did that, making me savor it more.
As a whole, this bunch of students have been a joy to teach and see them grow. We had many great laughs and fun times that I'll cherish... =)
Amazingly, after all these years of performing, I can still get excited over our recital and performances. I think it’s because I like doing the choreography and dancing to the music... And the hidden exhibitionist in me is excited to legitimately shed it’s protective covering. Or maybe it’s the fact that I get to immerse myself in dancing and performing rather than just watching, correcting and teaching. Although I really do enjoy teaching, there are times when just dancing happily ‘without a care in the world’ can be so soothing for the soul.
The minor glitch with certain customers before the show helped to feed my emotions as I poured my frustrations in the dance in the first segment. And that’s one of the main reasons why dancing is so addictive. Whatever probelms you’re facing or overwhelming emotions that you are facing that day, you can just throw it away temporarily, forget about past things that happened, and not worrying about the future. Dancing is a very NOW thing. Although it’s less so with the invention of videos, to fully experience and appreciate dance, it must occur in the Now. It’s a very physical and present thing that consumes your energy and focus. It’s a wonderful distraction and if you know how to, a great way to channel excess energies and frustration away.
After these few weeks of feeling slightly overwhelmed and slightly inferior to many people in my life (dun ask why I just do sometimes... Maybe it's to remind me of my humility), even discouraged by my inability to handle things, I realize one thing, that I truly have been blessed and graced in the dance and teaching department. That even though I dun quite know what I’m doing sometimes, it works out great and I’m constantly learning. If anything, teaching challenges me to be a better person, to encourage, support and motivate people to do things that they may not think they would do, but then surprise themselves in the end. That in itself is a great reward and money can’t buy that kind of joy we have. In conclusion, I see this: my world may be small, and my influence not that great, but the lives that I touch, I try my best to nurture and I do see the changes in their lives. If anything, I understand one thing: everyone wants someone to care and someone to love. It may not be romance but it can be family. We may not like each other all the time, but we love and we care for one another and we're willing to sort out our differences. That’s what makes the difference.
Surprisingly, I was excited about the performance tonight. Maybe because I liked the dances I did, or because there were many newbies in the group and I was excited for them, but I felt great: young and new again... or maybe it was that I simply got the chance to show my love of dance to others...
Although the show went by in a flash, the actual performances kinda went like slow motion for me; I actualy had time to think of doing the right expression, the next step, etc. It’s kinda weird that I didn’t feel it go rushing by as I usually do. But it made the fun more complete as I got the time to savor the dances. Role playing was rather fun and I must say that it’s been a while since I did that, making me savor it more.
As a whole, this bunch of students have been a joy to teach and see them grow. We had many great laughs and fun times that I'll cherish... =)
Thursday, October 20
Training an Artiste (a teacher’s perspective)
Many young and ambitious dancers don’t understand this, but the most famous dancers are never the best dancers. They are the ones that give producers and directors the least problems. They are helpful; they do the ‘shit work”; they do it quietly, without asking and with a smile.
As a teacher, I’ve encountered (in my short span of teaching), many dancers and students who pick up steps and techniques very fast. These bright young dancers are very smart people, and many of them know that. However, many of them get distracted easily or become over-confident and do not train as hard or take instructions as well as the less talented ones. They tend to talk or comment a lot, but when it comes down to producing, I always see the quiet, less talented but determined dancers win the show.
Key to Success #1: Be Teachable - humble & willing to listen, able to change to suit the industry’s needs
I just saw a final episode of Heidi Klum’s Project Runway and one of the first episodes of Tyra Bank’s America’s Next Top Model. What we always see is the same trend in every episode. In Project Runway, it was the final episode where there were 3 women battling it out on the Runway to win the title. Of the 3 women, all were talented with their own unique styles, all were amazing designers and artistes in their own right. But 2 of them were really outspoken, in an impolite way (or bitchy, as we would say in this generation). They outright argued (impolitely and forcefully) with their advisers who were trying to give them positive feedback to help them improve and grow. The way they spoke when being interviewed by the camera about these arguments was also very “This is how I feel, I have to go with how I feel so if you don’t agree with me, so be it, I don’t have to listen to you”. The way they commented about their competitors was also quite nasty.
The winner of the show was a sweet girl whom you can tell is humble and polite, and not so street smart. She keeps to herself and is eager for advice and suggestions from the advisers. Looking back on the designs, I would say that I preferred another girl’s collections and designs; she was a better and maybe more talented designer. But if I were the company who will be sponsoring and hiring one of them, I would go with the judges’ decision. Why? Simply because if I am an expert in the market and the business, and I am eager to share the knowledge and help these new designers to grow, I would find the most teachable student. Skills can be trained; the designer just needs to be pointed in the right direction. But attitudes are hard to change.
If I were to sponsor the other girl, how can I teach her when she has already decided that she knows everything there is to learn? How much effort and time will I waste to argue with her every step of the way just so that she can improve and grow? How could I trust her with the trade secrets? How would I know that all the things I sincerely and genuinely share with her would not come back to bite me when she’s unhappy with me and decides to go to the press and my competitors spreading nasty rumors, like the way she talks back to the mentors? How can she, with the character that she has and the way she talks, represent my company and my name in good light?
In Tyra Bank’s supermodel show, there was one girl who made this statement: “I’m outspoken by nature and if anybody doesn’t like what I say, so be it”. You could see in the show later that she complained about everything given to her; from dying her eyebrows, to the make up put on her, to the costumes given to her and the pictures chosen for her to emulate. She complained about basically everything. She had one of the strongest pictures in the group but she was nearly sent home because of her poor working attitude.
Key to Success #2: Allow yourself to be Used
How can you teach a person that in order to succeed, you have to give a lot, be willing for others to use you and take advantage of you, even if you are not happy with the storyline, the costumes, the dance steps etc? As a professional in your field, you make the best of the situation and what’s given to you and do your best, no matter how uncomfortable you feel (not withstanding being made to do sexually provocative things that you never agreed to do, of course). As an artiste, a supermodel or a designer, you need people to endorse you, or recognize and promote your talent. In other words, you need people to use you. If you are not willing to let them make use of you as they see fit, they will simply hire another. There have been many times when I start a project or choreography with steps that I planned out in advance. But in the course of doing the project, the director or producers have different ideas, or the dancers are not able to do the steps. As a commercial choreographer, I have to change my steps to suit their needs, even though it is not what I prefer or what I originally planned to do.
Dancers, models or designers alike are typically commissioned to do projects where they must adhere to a certain costume, theme or make up. They may be made to wear uncomfortable things, or requested to do moves that they are uncomfortable with. Their skills are hired to be used. If they do not have the skills or refuse to do the things requested, the commissioner will just hire another who will do it. Newsflash: you are paid to do what they want, not what you want; if you don’t give them what they want, they won’t pay you.
Key to Success #3: Teamwork allows you to go further than you can go solo.
A person who is calculative will find it hard to grasp this theory that was shared to me by my mentor: You can choose to make 100% of $10, or make 1% of $10,000. The former is working solo, and for your own group; the latter is working in a group and helping each other as a team to grow, and taking turns to shine and lead. Just like a flock of geese flying in a 'v' formation, they save 70% of their strength by flying in a 'v' formation. By taking turns being in the lead, they take turns bearing the brunt of the resistance they face while flying. When the lead goose gets tired, it falls back and another takes its place. By working in a group, we take turns to shine, and take turns to lead. This makes the work a lot easier to do (with people helping you to get the job done) and the burdens lighter to bear (as you share the load with one another). You can also go a lot further as a team than as an individual, and this is true in any company.
Key to Success #4: Understand that your teacher may not dance better than you, but it doesn’t mean that they can’t help you become better.
Tiger Woods was one of the best golfers in the world. He had 3 teachers. He golfs better than any of them, but with their wealth of experience and understanding of the sport, they can teach him to become better than he already is and beat the rest. My teacher always says: you don’t judge how good a teacher is by how good he/she dances; you judge how good he/she is by how good his/her students are.
Key to Success #5: Struggle to stay Teachable, know that anyone can offer you enlightenment, and most of all, be patient and don't loose sight of your goal.
As a dancer, I know that one of the hardest things is that it’s very hard to keep improving once you reach a really high standard. Simply because there are lesser and lesser things to correct, and those things that are easy to correct and achieve have already been corrected and cleared, leaving only the difficult things left to master. When you first start, it takes 10% of your effort to achieve 90% the desired goal; as you progress on to the highest levels, it will take 99% of your effort to achieve 1% of your goal. That last 10% is especially hard to achieve.
As a teacher, I’ve come to realize that most people cannot take the training to realize even 70% of their potential. Majority will stop after realizing their 10 - 20% mark. The self-proclaimed die-hards will be able to realize 40 - 50% of their goal. There will be 1 or 2 exceptionals who will be able to push beyond that 50%, and these gems come once every 2 - 3 years.
Why is it so tough? Ego is one point, and perseverance is another.
Perseverance
Thomas Edison experimented with thousands of materials, including hair from his beard, to finally hit on a fibre that could produce light economically. It’s very hard to persevere to do the same step everyday, failing 99% of the times for 2 years just to get it finally right after 2 years. Most people give up just after 1 month. Figure skaters train everyday for 2 years to do a double loop (jump); ballet dancers train their balance and posture for 5 years before doing a single pirouette; gymnasts train for years to master a certain skill; martial artistes do the same.
It is a boring, long and tiring process if you don’t know how to appreciate it. The minute details gets more and more important, as the step gets harder and harder. That’s why I find teaching very useful: I have a group of people to train with me everyday and I can structure the class to suit my training... In fact, my students are often my teachers as I learn from them what not to do, and what may be better to do.
Ego
Many dancers get so much praise (both genuine and non-genuine ones) by the time they hit their 40% mark that they become satisfied with that. They also start to slow down in terms of progressing as it becomes harder to improve (because it takes 60% of your effort to produce 40% of your goal as compared to previous goals where it took 30% effort to achieve 70% of your goal). Many dancers get impatient here and feel that there is nothing left for them to learn and grow.
Once they hit a certain standard, many people will look up to them and idolize them. All these attention will distract them, and if they let it go to their heads, they will start thinking that they have all the answers and will stop listening to their teachers’ suggestions and advice, as with the contestants on Project Runway. At this point, when the teacher tries to teach the student, he may argue or think that he knows better, and at times subconsciously do the step wrong to prove that the teacher is wrong. When the ego gets in the way, nothing the teacher says will have effect, and the student stays stagnant because he doesn’t listen. When this happens, the student may then convince himself that the teacher has nothing more to teach him.
I have encountered this from both sides of the coin: I have been that egoistic student and I have also been that exasperated teacher. I was really lucky to have a teacher that refused to give up on me and tried (despite all the nonsense I gave him) to show me reason. I didn’t really understand it all (still I did as he said anyway), but I only truly understood what he meant when I was in his shoes, teaching these students who did not appreciate nor understand what I was trying to tell them.
One of the most disheartening things as a teacher is when I put my heart and soul into teaching them and it eventually turns on me when I can tell that they don’t appreciate it. I always have to tell myself to let go and move on when they don’t appreciate it anymore, and find others who will. And for one student that disappoints, there are 10 more who will appreciate what I can give to them.
Of course, there are also many sides to a story and this is merely one side... *shrug*
Many young and ambitious dancers don’t understand this, but the most famous dancers are never the best dancers. They are the ones that give producers and directors the least problems. They are helpful; they do the ‘shit work”; they do it quietly, without asking and with a smile.
As a teacher, I’ve encountered (in my short span of teaching), many dancers and students who pick up steps and techniques very fast. These bright young dancers are very smart people, and many of them know that. However, many of them get distracted easily or become over-confident and do not train as hard or take instructions as well as the less talented ones. They tend to talk or comment a lot, but when it comes down to producing, I always see the quiet, less talented but determined dancers win the show.
Key to Success #1: Be Teachable - humble & willing to listen, able to change to suit the industry’s needs
I just saw a final episode of Heidi Klum’s Project Runway and one of the first episodes of Tyra Bank’s America’s Next Top Model. What we always see is the same trend in every episode. In Project Runway, it was the final episode where there were 3 women battling it out on the Runway to win the title. Of the 3 women, all were talented with their own unique styles, all were amazing designers and artistes in their own right. But 2 of them were really outspoken, in an impolite way (or bitchy, as we would say in this generation). They outright argued (impolitely and forcefully) with their advisers who were trying to give them positive feedback to help them improve and grow. The way they spoke when being interviewed by the camera about these arguments was also very “This is how I feel, I have to go with how I feel so if you don’t agree with me, so be it, I don’t have to listen to you”. The way they commented about their competitors was also quite nasty.
The winner of the show was a sweet girl whom you can tell is humble and polite, and not so street smart. She keeps to herself and is eager for advice and suggestions from the advisers. Looking back on the designs, I would say that I preferred another girl’s collections and designs; she was a better and maybe more talented designer. But if I were the company who will be sponsoring and hiring one of them, I would go with the judges’ decision. Why? Simply because if I am an expert in the market and the business, and I am eager to share the knowledge and help these new designers to grow, I would find the most teachable student. Skills can be trained; the designer just needs to be pointed in the right direction. But attitudes are hard to change.
If I were to sponsor the other girl, how can I teach her when she has already decided that she knows everything there is to learn? How much effort and time will I waste to argue with her every step of the way just so that she can improve and grow? How could I trust her with the trade secrets? How would I know that all the things I sincerely and genuinely share with her would not come back to bite me when she’s unhappy with me and decides to go to the press and my competitors spreading nasty rumors, like the way she talks back to the mentors? How can she, with the character that she has and the way she talks, represent my company and my name in good light?
In Tyra Bank’s supermodel show, there was one girl who made this statement: “I’m outspoken by nature and if anybody doesn’t like what I say, so be it”. You could see in the show later that she complained about everything given to her; from dying her eyebrows, to the make up put on her, to the costumes given to her and the pictures chosen for her to emulate. She complained about basically everything. She had one of the strongest pictures in the group but she was nearly sent home because of her poor working attitude.
Key to Success #2: Allow yourself to be Used
How can you teach a person that in order to succeed, you have to give a lot, be willing for others to use you and take advantage of you, even if you are not happy with the storyline, the costumes, the dance steps etc? As a professional in your field, you make the best of the situation and what’s given to you and do your best, no matter how uncomfortable you feel (not withstanding being made to do sexually provocative things that you never agreed to do, of course). As an artiste, a supermodel or a designer, you need people to endorse you, or recognize and promote your talent. In other words, you need people to use you. If you are not willing to let them make use of you as they see fit, they will simply hire another. There have been many times when I start a project or choreography with steps that I planned out in advance. But in the course of doing the project, the director or producers have different ideas, or the dancers are not able to do the steps. As a commercial choreographer, I have to change my steps to suit their needs, even though it is not what I prefer or what I originally planned to do.
Dancers, models or designers alike are typically commissioned to do projects where they must adhere to a certain costume, theme or make up. They may be made to wear uncomfortable things, or requested to do moves that they are uncomfortable with. Their skills are hired to be used. If they do not have the skills or refuse to do the things requested, the commissioner will just hire another who will do it. Newsflash: you are paid to do what they want, not what you want; if you don’t give them what they want, they won’t pay you.
Key to Success #3: Teamwork allows you to go further than you can go solo.
A person who is calculative will find it hard to grasp this theory that was shared to me by my mentor: You can choose to make 100% of $10, or make 1% of $10,000. The former is working solo, and for your own group; the latter is working in a group and helping each other as a team to grow, and taking turns to shine and lead. Just like a flock of geese flying in a 'v' formation, they save 70% of their strength by flying in a 'v' formation. By taking turns being in the lead, they take turns bearing the brunt of the resistance they face while flying. When the lead goose gets tired, it falls back and another takes its place. By working in a group, we take turns to shine, and take turns to lead. This makes the work a lot easier to do (with people helping you to get the job done) and the burdens lighter to bear (as you share the load with one another). You can also go a lot further as a team than as an individual, and this is true in any company.
Key to Success #4: Understand that your teacher may not dance better than you, but it doesn’t mean that they can’t help you become better.
Tiger Woods was one of the best golfers in the world. He had 3 teachers. He golfs better than any of them, but with their wealth of experience and understanding of the sport, they can teach him to become better than he already is and beat the rest. My teacher always says: you don’t judge how good a teacher is by how good he/she dances; you judge how good he/she is by how good his/her students are.
Key to Success #5: Struggle to stay Teachable, know that anyone can offer you enlightenment, and most of all, be patient and don't loose sight of your goal.
As a dancer, I know that one of the hardest things is that it’s very hard to keep improving once you reach a really high standard. Simply because there are lesser and lesser things to correct, and those things that are easy to correct and achieve have already been corrected and cleared, leaving only the difficult things left to master. When you first start, it takes 10% of your effort to achieve 90% the desired goal; as you progress on to the highest levels, it will take 99% of your effort to achieve 1% of your goal. That last 10% is especially hard to achieve.
As a teacher, I’ve come to realize that most people cannot take the training to realize even 70% of their potential. Majority will stop after realizing their 10 - 20% mark. The self-proclaimed die-hards will be able to realize 40 - 50% of their goal. There will be 1 or 2 exceptionals who will be able to push beyond that 50%, and these gems come once every 2 - 3 years.
Why is it so tough? Ego is one point, and perseverance is another.
Perseverance
Thomas Edison experimented with thousands of materials, including hair from his beard, to finally hit on a fibre that could produce light economically. It’s very hard to persevere to do the same step everyday, failing 99% of the times for 2 years just to get it finally right after 2 years. Most people give up just after 1 month. Figure skaters train everyday for 2 years to do a double loop (jump); ballet dancers train their balance and posture for 5 years before doing a single pirouette; gymnasts train for years to master a certain skill; martial artistes do the same.
It is a boring, long and tiring process if you don’t know how to appreciate it. The minute details gets more and more important, as the step gets harder and harder. That’s why I find teaching very useful: I have a group of people to train with me everyday and I can structure the class to suit my training... In fact, my students are often my teachers as I learn from them what not to do, and what may be better to do.
Ego
Many dancers get so much praise (both genuine and non-genuine ones) by the time they hit their 40% mark that they become satisfied with that. They also start to slow down in terms of progressing as it becomes harder to improve (because it takes 60% of your effort to produce 40% of your goal as compared to previous goals where it took 30% effort to achieve 70% of your goal). Many dancers get impatient here and feel that there is nothing left for them to learn and grow.
Once they hit a certain standard, many people will look up to them and idolize them. All these attention will distract them, and if they let it go to their heads, they will start thinking that they have all the answers and will stop listening to their teachers’ suggestions and advice, as with the contestants on Project Runway. At this point, when the teacher tries to teach the student, he may argue or think that he knows better, and at times subconsciously do the step wrong to prove that the teacher is wrong. When the ego gets in the way, nothing the teacher says will have effect, and the student stays stagnant because he doesn’t listen. When this happens, the student may then convince himself that the teacher has nothing more to teach him.
I have encountered this from both sides of the coin: I have been that egoistic student and I have also been that exasperated teacher. I was really lucky to have a teacher that refused to give up on me and tried (despite all the nonsense I gave him) to show me reason. I didn’t really understand it all (still I did as he said anyway), but I only truly understood what he meant when I was in his shoes, teaching these students who did not appreciate nor understand what I was trying to tell them.
One of the most disheartening things as a teacher is when I put my heart and soul into teaching them and it eventually turns on me when I can tell that they don’t appreciate it. I always have to tell myself to let go and move on when they don’t appreciate it anymore, and find others who will. And for one student that disappoints, there are 10 more who will appreciate what I can give to them.
Of course, there are also many sides to a story and this is merely one side... *shrug*
Sometimes, we get a little lost in life.
Sometimes, we don't see the reason why.
Sometimes, we get tired of it all.
Hold on, hang on, you'll see the light.
Hold on, hang tight, you'll reap the reward.
Sometimes, people disappoint.
Sometimes, things don't go the way you want.
Sometimes, giving up seems like the best option.
Hold on, hang on, you'll pull through.
Hold on, hang tight, you'll succeed.
It's just a little while more,
It's just a little bit longer,
You'll make it through it all,
You'll make it through alright.
Sometimes, we don't see the reason why.
Sometimes, we get tired of it all.
Hold on, hang on, you'll see the light.
Hold on, hang tight, you'll reap the reward.
Sometimes, people disappoint.
Sometimes, things don't go the way you want.
Sometimes, giving up seems like the best option.
Hold on, hang on, you'll pull through.
Hold on, hang tight, you'll succeed.
It's just a little while more,
It's just a little bit longer,
You'll make it through it all,
You'll make it through alright.
Fears, Failures and Set Backs are a Part of Life.
Back in 2006, when I made the decision to forgo by Honors 3 weeks before my exams, my main concern was whether I would regret that decision for the rest of my life. It was pure irony (and thanks to the ridiculous grading system) that I had 3 Fs in my final year and merely dropped from a high 2nd-lower to a low 2nd-lower grade in my bachelors degree.
My main reason for dropping out from honors was that I didn't have time to study, and I had to reject many overseas assignments due to the fact that I was studying and could not concentrate fully on my dance career. But when I stopped school, there seemed to be a lull in overseas offers. It seemed terrifying for a few months, when it seemed like I may have dropped school for nothing.
But I trudged on despite my fears. I continued teaching classes like I used to, and I also took on more responsibilities in the school in terms of admin duties and such. For a while, it kinda seemed like I dropped honors to work an administrative job, rather than to further my career in dance. I prayed and hoped and worked hard; perhaps dropping out of school early forced me to work harder to prove everyone wrong...
Things seemed really slow at the beginning of the year just when I stopped school, but eventually (and it took 6 months to 1 year) my efforts paid off. I was invited to numerous cities to teach and perform. My efforts did not go to waste, and the decision to drop out of school was a good one. In the 'slow' period, it may have seemed like my decision to stop school was a bad one, but what I was actually doing during that time was laying the foundations to go international. The hours spent doing admin work, answering phone calls, teaching more classes, etc was actually preparing me to be an artiste.
I packed and cleaned the school, did lots of 'dirty' work, answered a lot of sales calls and taught many classes... These trained my personality and character to be like an artiste: I was not afraid of hard or dirty work; I developed a character to 'I can do it anytime' rather than 'why me?'; I developed my skill and charisma as a teacher and dancer in classes. As such, I was an asset as an artiste in overseas festivals and congresses: I was ready to perform and teach many kinds of dances whenever they needed me to (it was usually last minute); my hours doing sales calls allowed me to be able to talk to many dancers to participate in the festivals and events; I could stand waiting long hours for businesses to be conducted (into the wee hours of 6am in the morning) or grueling schedules of teaching 2 - 4 hours of classes the whole day followed by a performance that night and a party after that...
The training I received in the school helped me to be able to do all that and more. And in hind sight, I can guess that anyone who has not been through the training I received would not have been able to experience half of what I got to experience.
Hard work and experiencing failures are important and crucial to Success.
Many people can't see that the 'dirty' work is a part of the 'glorious' work. Without all the slogging away, I wouldn't have been able to become the kind of artiste I am today. Without all the chances I was given to build and teach and perform, and especially all the opportunities I was given to fail in the school (where the consequences were not as big), I would not have been such a success overseas. Without all the scolding I received from my teacher, I would not have been able to take hard and serious training by top artistes under high pressure and limited time. A diamond that is uncut is just a dull rock. The cutting process is grueling, painful and dirty, but the finished product is beautiful, and worth the effort.
Throughout the process of my 'cutting', I had many fears, worries, doubts and failures. There were classes I did not teach well; there were events that I did not manage well; there were crucial errors that I overlooked. Setbacks, fears and worries are a part of living a full life. Success not doing something or becoming someone without failure; success is daring to do something or become someone despite the failures. “Courage is not the absence of fear but the judgment that something else is more important than fear. The brave may not live forever but the cautious do not live at all. For now you are traveling the road between who you think you are and who you can be.” - Meg Cabot
There are many 'what ifs' in life's road. If we let ourselves get bogged down by these 'what ifs', we will not be able to live a full life. To me, what is important is that I live as full a life that I can lead, without compromising my integrity and principals. When it comes to smarts, I'm not the smartest, neither am I the most ambitious. However, I am very determined to keep learning, keep growing and keep giving my best. As such, things may set me back a little, but if I am willing and patient, I will conquer it and become better because of it.
30 Years from Now...
Young people tend to live in the now. Our lives are revolved around today and at this present moment. Many times, we just do what feels best now. I find that whenever I succumb to my feelings in the present, I often miss out on the good that I could have done at that moment for my future.
There's a popular quote from the bible: So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. I'm not actually contradicting this quote, and I'm not saying that we should worry about tomorrow. What I'm saying is that we should always keep in mind that our actions today will affect our tomorrows. Throwing temper at a loved one today could result in many unpleasant tomorrows. Not completing a crucial task today may result in a very stressed tomorrow.
Someone wise just told me recently... always think 30 years. 30 years from now, what do you see yourself doing? Where do you see yourself going? He said that young people tend to be influenced by present feelings, emotions and talk from themselves and friends. These may lead to decisions that seem good and logical in the short run (it settles a short term problem), but may be harmful in the long run (it may affect what you become in the future). By thinking 30 years ahead, it can help you to keep on the path that you want to get on, and it can help you to make the right decisions and not be easily swayed by the easy solution that can solve short term problems but be detrimental to you in the long run.
So think about it:
What kind of person do you see yourself as, 30 years from now?
Who do you see yourself (friends? family?) surrounded by 30 years from now?
What do you see yourself doing 30 years from now?
And 30 years from now, would you have been pleased that you made this decision or would you have regretted your choice?
I think it's worth a thought. =)
Young people tend to live in the now. Our lives are revolved around today and at this present moment. Many times, we just do what feels best now. I find that whenever I succumb to my feelings in the present, I often miss out on the good that I could have done at that moment for my future.
There's a popular quote from the bible: So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. I'm not actually contradicting this quote, and I'm not saying that we should worry about tomorrow. What I'm saying is that we should always keep in mind that our actions today will affect our tomorrows. Throwing temper at a loved one today could result in many unpleasant tomorrows. Not completing a crucial task today may result in a very stressed tomorrow.
Someone wise just told me recently... always think 30 years. 30 years from now, what do you see yourself doing? Where do you see yourself going? He said that young people tend to be influenced by present feelings, emotions and talk from themselves and friends. These may lead to decisions that seem good and logical in the short run (it settles a short term problem), but may be harmful in the long run (it may affect what you become in the future). By thinking 30 years ahead, it can help you to keep on the path that you want to get on, and it can help you to make the right decisions and not be easily swayed by the easy solution that can solve short term problems but be detrimental to you in the long run.
So think about it:
What kind of person do you see yourself as, 30 years from now?
Who do you see yourself (friends? family?) surrounded by 30 years from now?
What do you see yourself doing 30 years from now?
And 30 years from now, would you have been pleased that you made this decision or would you have regretted your choice?
I think it's worth a thought. =)
Tuesday, September 20
Lead & Follow Using Tai-Chi Theory
Learning to lead and follow tends to bring you a myriad of thoughts, emotions and expressions to dancing.
What makes a best leader or a best follower?
We had a discussion today leading to the concept of following like doing Tai Chi, whereby you take the force/momentum/direction of your leader and run along with it (not fight), adding your own force together with it to make you go faster. (in pure physics terms, force A + force B going along in the same direction will make the force bigger).
Following is like that. You don't fight him when he wants you to go somewhere. Instead, you take it and go along with it, adding your own force gradually to make the going easier and faster. In the event that he leads you askew or off balance, you take that force, use your own additional force to reroute it if possible, or exert some opposing force to diffuse the unwanted force so that you can go to the desired location he intends to lead you. It's about channeling the force he gives you to the right outlets.
As a follower, I instinctively 'help' my partner like this. If he leads me too forcefully, I diffuse the force by relaxing my tension a bit or increasing my tension to be harder so that I don't get yanked around by him. If he leads me off balance, I re-channel the force he gives to bring myself back where he wants me to go. If he doesn't lead me hard enough, I run with him, adding my own force behind so that I end up where he wants me to go.
An then we realized that it works the same for a leader as well. If she doesn't respond well to you (in terms of following), there are a few ways you can respond to it. First option is to use direct force to block her moves and counter with you own (what I call bulldozing or force-leading your way through). This usually ends up with the 2 of you fighting with each other, feeling very exhausted at the end of the dance. The leader typically has to bulldoze until the follower gives up and decides to follow because she has no strength left to fight.
Second option is to employ the Tau Chi method: use her force and momentum and add on to it, re-routing and re-channeling her movements to where you want her to go. For this, you have to let her move, flow with her, then spring a 'surprise' on her by using her momentum and pushing her into an additional turn or a different position.
This is similar to Tai Chi when you use your opponent's momentum and turn it around to hit him back. The advantage is that you do not need to be very strong in order to succeed. However, you do need to be able to react and think fast or you would not be able to execute the moves you desire.
At the end of the day, what's important is that partner dancing (eg salsa or tango) is a PARTNER dance. You need to connect and flow together as one in order for it to work. Good leaders/followers are those that are constantly in tune with their partners. They ADAPT to the changes in lead/follow. They understand that when they are leading/following, their partners need to respond to them as a whole (they lead/follow with their whole body, not just move the hands but leave the body behind). It there is no response, they need to change tactics until there is a positive response.
How do we get there? First and foremost, you need to practice doing this. You need to attentively do this every time you dance. This practice must become second nature to you when you dance. The alarm bells in your head should ring if it doesn't feel like your 2 bodies are flowing as one.
On the other hand, even if it feels rough and out of sync, it may still look good, it you cover up well... =)
Hope this helps... or issit too chim?
Wednesday, May 12
Pondering Thoughts...
Running Forward
I do it coz
I can do better,
I can be faster,
I am stronger,
I am eager,
I will learn,
I will soar.
I do it coz I can, and I CHOOSE to.
On Decisions
It's alright to fear & doubt, for it ensures that we think twice and weigh our options. It's alright to hesitate and be uncertain for it ensures that we are considering the consequences. Only the foolish and reckless do not doubt or fear. These attributes ensure that we are humane and sincere in our choices and have considered them carefully.
Running Forward
I do it coz
I can do better,
I can be faster,
I am stronger,
I am eager,
I will learn,
I will soar.
I do it coz I can, and I CHOOSE to.
On Decisions
It's alright to fear & doubt, for it ensures that we think twice and weigh our options. It's alright to hesitate and be uncertain for it ensures that we are considering the consequences. Only the foolish and reckless do not doubt or fear. These attributes ensure that we are humane and sincere in our choices and have considered them carefully.
How Teaching can make you a better dancer
wrote by a student of mine... good points to share
Joining Actfa for less a year, I never thought I could have a chance to become a good dancer, much less an instructor. I started off being a regular student taking about 7-9hours of classes weekly. Prior to that, I was not involved in any dance performance or whatever gigs that Actfa had to offer. It was only till the Singapore Salsa Congress 2009 that I started finding myself being part of the school. I was asked to part of the “models” doing the fashion show and later carried on to my first performance (Jazz routine) in the Singapore salsa congress. Since then, I found myself actively involved in the school, especially during the esplanade dans festival 2009. The management recognized my dedication and passion to the arts and allowed me to play a more active role in the school. This passion then takes me into the area of instructing. They started by asking me to head an isolation class and today, I am actually teaching isolation, yoga, pilates, hiphop and a little bit of salsa.
Student Mindset vs Teacher Mindset:
The Teacher improves faster
What I have learnt and experienced so far cannot be properly spoken or described by words alone. A common mindset that people have is that the student can never be better than the teacher just because he/she is a student; this is what I experienced from being a student myself. However, when I started being an instructor, I began to feel the internal drive pushing me to be the best among everyone because I’m an instructor and I’m supposed to be better than everyone.
Instructors are just like every other person in the class, but we are better dancers because we do/teach the steps 10 times more than the students and we push ourselves harder than the students. I will feel improvements in my dancing as I try harder to show them how it is done: I push myself harder because I want them to push themselves harder; as I tell them to do a move bigger, I do it even bigger than them to encourage them to do so; I understand a step in great detail as I have to break it down to the finest detail for them.
As I teach a class, I also face the challenge of ‘troubleshooting’: why is the student not able to do this step correctly and with ease? I have to constantly try to figure out what is wrong, struggle to explain the concepts to them in such a way that they understand, and show them why it should not be done this way. As the errors made by students usually come from a certain mistake in their fundamental basic steps, I come to understand why the basics are important and how it works to help me in executing advanced moves. In doing so, it reinforces my techniques and refines my skills as a dancer. I discover better ways to execute a step, also why not to execute it in a particular way.
The Teacher has greater understanding and depth of knowledge
As a teacher, I feel I have to be the best and most informed. As such, I also need to research more and prepare more. This preparation process improves my understanding of the dance itself. For example, there are so many ways to breakdown or teach a particular step. There are so many ways to teach a student how to do a pliés. There is no correct or wrong way. But to teach and explain the step in a way that the student understands at once is not easy and it takes time and experience to build. Therefore, it helped me to think out of the box.
At the same time, it has also helped me to be more patient and I began to appreciate the fundamentals and the importance of basics. For example, in a salsa basic class, if I am playing the role of the student, I will probably be more conscious of the lady’s step and when the instructor is explaining about the guy’s step, I might not be as motivated to listen. But if I’m understudying or know I have to teach a salsa class I will probably pay more attention to additional details such as the timing of leading and following or weight transfer.
The teacher has the right mindset for learning
Students can afford to day dream in class but a teacher cannot. As such, I am ‘forced’ to pay attention in my class as I am teaching the steps. I am ‘forced’ to execute a step properly and hold my poise properly. Because I am under constant scrutiny in class as a teacher – which is nerve wrecking at the beginning – I am ‘forced’ to do all my steps to the best of my ability; I cannot relax and do a sloppy step which ‘forces’ me to adopt the right mindset and attitude to training. So, I learn faster, with cleaner steps and sharper moves.
The teacher learns how to be professional
Other than the above few, what I find particularly hard to do is to actually put myself into the public eye and opening myself up to the judgement of others. As a dance instructor, there are certain traits you need: you need to learn how to be professional and how to carry yourself well in front of your students; you need to figure out how to make them smile when they become nervous; you need to learn how to motivate and praise them; you need to learn how to become a role model; you basically learn how to be a leader to manage and inspire people.
As a teacher, I not only learn how to become a better dancer but also how to become a better leader that can inspire others to do things that they previously thought not possible.
Wednesday, May 5
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