Care Enough

“You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” —Mahatma Gandhi

 

Life comes from physical survival; but the good life comes from what we care about.

- Rollo May

 

The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature.

- Marcus Aurelius

Step with care and great tact ,and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act.

- Dr. Seuss

Do your duty and a little more and the future will take care of itself.

- Andrew Carnegie

Humility is the true key to success. Successful people lose their way at times. They often embrace and overindulge from the fruits of success. Humility halts this arrogance and self-indulging trap. Humble people share the credit and wealth, remaining focused and hungry to continue the journey of success.

- Rick Pitino

Successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, 'What's in it for me?'

- Brian Tracy

The biggest hurdle is rejection. Any business you start, be ready for it. The difference between successful people and unsuccessful people is the successful people do all the things the unsuccessful people don't want to do. When 10 doors are slammed in your face, go to door number 11 enthusiastically, with a smile on your face.

- John Paul DeJoria

Successful people make money. It's not that people who make money become successful, but that successful people attract money. They bring success to what they do.

- Wayne Dyer

When you're around enormously successful people you realise their success isn't an accident - it's about work.

- Ryan Tedder

The freedom to fail is vital if you're going to succeed. Most successful people fail from time to time, and it is a measure of their strength that failure merely propels them into some new attempt at success.

- Michael Korda

“Courage is grace under pressure.” —Ernest Hemingway

“Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.” —Albert Einstein

“It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop.” —Confucius

“Someone is sitting in the shade today because someone planted a tree a long time ago.” —Warren Buffett

“There is no easy walk to freedom anywhere, and many of us will have to pass through the valley of the shadow of death again and again before we reach the mountaintop of our desires.” —Nelson Mandela

“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.” —Wayne Gretzky

“You must expect great things of yourself before you can do them.” —Michael Jordan

“I believe every human has a finite number of heartbeats. I don’t intend to waste any of mine.” —Neil Armstrong 

“Don’t limit yourself. Many people limit themselves to what they think they can do. You can go as far as your mind lets you. What you believe, remember, you can achieve.” —Mary Kay Ash 

“If you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything.” —Malcolm X


“It often requires more courage to dare to do right than to fear to do wrong.” —Abraham Lincoln

“If at first you don’t succeed, try, try, try again.” —William Edward Hickson

“As you grow older, you will discover that you have two hands, one for helping yourself, the other for helping others.” —Audrey Hepburn

“A dream doesn’t become reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.” —Colin Powell 

“Nothing great was ever achieved without enthusiasm.” —Ralph Waldo Emerson

“All our dreams can come true if we have the courage to pursue them.” —Walt Disney

“Some people want it to happen, some wish it would happen, others make it happen.” —Michael Jordan 

“Change will not come if we wait for some other person or some other time. We are the ones we’ve been waiting for. We are the change that we seek.” —Barack Obama

“Don’t worry about failure; you only have to be right once.” —Drew Houston

“In the middle of every difficulty lies opportunity.” —Albert Einstein

“I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.” —Maya Angelou 

“If you can do what you do best and be happy, you’re further along in life than most people.” —Leonardo DiCaprio

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” —George Bernard Shaw

“Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.” —Harriet Tubman

“What the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve.” —Napoleon Hill

“A champion is afraid of losing. Everyone else is afraid of winning.” —Billie Jean King

 “If you want to be happy, set a goal that commands your thoughts, liberates your energy, and inspires your hopes.” —Andrew Carnegie

 “If something is important enough, even if the odds are against you, you should still do it.” —Elon Musk 

 “The best way to not feel hopeless is to get up and do something. Don’t wait for good things to happen to you. If you go out and make some good things happen, you will fill the world with hope, you will fill yourself with hope.” —Barack Obama

Nothing truly valuable arises from ambition or from a mere sense of duty; it stems rather from love and devotion towards men and towards objective things.”
—Albert Einstein

Gratitude

 "Your are not born a winner; You are not born a loser. You are born a chooser.”

“I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.”
- Alex Elle

“Just an observation: it is impossible to be both grateful and depressed. Those with a grateful mindset tend to see the message in the mess. And even though life may knock them down, the grateful find reasons, if even small ones, to get up.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or we can rejoice that thorn bushes have roses.”
- Abraham Lincoln

“You don’t have to do this.  You get to do this”
- Tom Kubis

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.”
- Epicurus

“Cultivate the habit of being grateful for every good thing that comes to you, and to give thanks continuously. And because all things have contributed to your advancement, you should include all things in your gratitude.”
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

“We should certainly count our blessings, but we should also make our blessings count.”
― Neal A. Maxwell
 

“Acknowledging the good that you already have in your life is the foundation for all abundance.”
― Eckhart Tolle, A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life's Purpose

 “True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.”
― Seneca

Let gratitude be the pillow upon which you kneel to say your nightly prayer. And let faith be the bridge you build to overcome evil and welcome good.”
― Maya Angelou, Celebrations: Rituals of Peace and Prayer

“If the only prayer you said was thank you, that would be enough.”
― Meister Eckhart

“When we give cheerfully and accept gratefully, everyone is blessed.”
― Maya Angelou

“We must find time to stop and thank the people who make a difference in our lives.”
― John F. Kennedy

“If having a soul means being able to feel love and loyalty and gratitude, then animals are better off than a lot of humans.”
― James Herriot, All Creatures Great and Small

“When you arise in the morning, think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive—to breathe, to think, to enjoy, to love—then make that day count!”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“To be grateful is to recognize the Love of God in everything He has given us - and He has given us everything. Every breath we draw is a gift of His love, every moment of existence is a grace, for it brings with it immense graces from Him.
Gratitude therefore takes nothing for granted, is never unresponsive, is constantly awakening to new wonder and to praise of the goodness of God. For the grateful person knows that God is good, not by hearsay but by experience. And that is what makes all the difference.”
― Thomas Merton

“Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others.”
― Marcus Tullius Cicero

“God gave you a gift of 86 400 seconds today. Have you used one to say thank you ”
― William Arthur Ward

“The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude.”
― Thornton Wilder

“When you are grateful, fear disappears and abundance appears.”
― Anthony Robbins

“In normal life we hardly realize how much more we receive than we give, and life cannot be rich without such gratitude. It is so easy to overestimate the importance of our own achievements compared with what we owe to the help of others.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer, Letters and Papers from Prison

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
― William Arthur Ward
 

“In ordinary life we hardly realize that we receive a great deal more than we give, and that it is only with gratitude that life becomes rich.”
― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

“And when you crush an apple with your teeth, say to it in your heart:
Your seeds shall live in my body,
And the buds of your tomorrow shall blossom in my heart,
And your fragrance shall be my breath,
And together we shall rejoice through all the seasons.”
― Kahlil Gibran

“Those who have the ability to be grateful are the ones who have the ability to achieve greatness.”
― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

“If we never experience the chill of a dark winter, it is very unlikely that we will ever cherish the warmth of a bright summer’s day. Nothing stimulates our appetite for the simple joys of life more than the starvation caused by sadness or desperation. In order to complete our amazing life journey successfully, it is vital that we turn each and every dark tear into a pearl of wisdom, and find the blessing in every curse.”
― Anthon St. Maarten, Divine Living: The Essential Guide To Your True Destiny

“Gratitude can transform common days into thanksgivings, turn routine jobs into joy, and change ordinary opportunities into blessings.”
― William Arthur Ward     

“Got no checkbooks, got no banks. Still I'd like to express my thanks - I've got the sun in the mornin' and the moon at night.”
― Irving Berlin

“[Gratitude] turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity...it makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.”
― Melody Beattie

“The greatest wisdom is in simplicity. Love, respect, tolerance, sharing, gratitude, forgiveness. It's not complex or elaborate. The real knowledge is free. It's encoded in your DNA. All you need is within you. Great teachers have said that from the beginning. Find your heart, and you will find your way.”
― Carlos Barrios, Mayan elder and Ajq'ij of the Eagle Clan

“Whatever you appreciate and give thanks for will increase in your life.”
― Sanaya Roman, Living with Joy: Keys to Personal Power and Spiritual Transformation



“The problem that we have with a victim mentality is that we forget to see the blessings of the day. Because of this, our spirit is poisoned instead of nourished.”
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience

“What separates privilege from entitlement is gratitude.”
― Brené Brown     

“Today's Quote:
Not what we say about our blessings, but how we use them, is the true measure of our thanksgiving.”
― W.T. Purkiser

 “When it comes to life the critical thing is whether you take things for granted or take them with gratitude.”
― G.K. Chesterton

“A grateful mindset can set you free from the prison of disempowerment and the shackles of misery.”
― Steve Maraboli, Unapologetically You: Reflections on Life and the Human Experience''

“Thankfulness creates gratitude which generates contentment that causes peace.”
― Todd Stocker

“Gratitude is the ability to experience life as a gift. It liberates us from the prison of self-preoccupation.”
― John Ortberg, When the Game Is Over, It All Goes Back in the Box

“I may not be where I want to be but I'm thankful for not being where I used to be.”
― Habeeb Akande

“Gratitude means to recognize the good in your life, be thankful for whatever you have, some people may not even have one of those things you consider precious to you (love, family, friends etc). Each day give thanks for the gift of life.You are blessed”
― Pablo

“The more grateful we are, the more we practice this in our everyday lives, the more connected we become to the universe around us.”
― Stephen Richards
     

Self-discipline and Law

I value self-discipline, but creating systems that make it next to impossible to misbehave is more reliable than self-control.

- Tim Ferriss

 

I don't quite agree with this quote, but it reminded me of something about law that we hate.  It's draggy, imposing and how we wish we didn't have all those dreadful laws to obey....

This quote strikes at the heart of the problem with societies regarding law and freedom.  We want an idealistic society where everything is peaceful, safe and beautiful, where there is freedom to do things you want to do, say things you want to say, where there is harmony and no contention between people, etc.  But how do you create such a society?  It will only work if everyone is self-disciplined enough to abide by the same rules and self-disciplined to say the right things all the time and self-disciplined to do the right things all the time.

Simply put, if everyone is self-disciplined to pick up garbage if they see it; and clean up after themselves so they don't leave any mess for others to clean, we would have a clean city.  But if people do not do that, we need to put laws in place to ensure that they learn this rule.  And if laws are put into place, correction measures must be put in to discipline anyone who disobeys.

Disobedient people come by 2 ways: the lazy ones who try to take short cuts when no one is watching and the unenlightened ones who do not understand the reason for such laws.  In other words, laws are unnecessary in a society where everyone is self-disciplined to keep the rules.  (Rules can also be seen as culture or ideals inculcated into the society, that tells apart an enlightened, cultured and learned society vs a society where people live in anarchy.)

As such, people in power often need to take a 2-pronged approach to maintain the society: teaching and promoting the ideal culture and appealing to people's better natures (let's all keep a clean environment for everyone to live in comfort and disease-free); and imposing laws and sanctions for to deter those who may disobey (if you are caught littering, you do correction work or pay a fine).

Such rules must be simple and fundamental and what the majority wants, or everyone will not follow it.  Also, if the people in power (parents, governments, teachers, etc) neglect the former - educating the people - they will have to sanction a lot of people who do not understand why such laws are needed. Too much of this and they would have a revolt in their hands (especially if they cannot justify to the people why having this rule in the first place is necessary and beneficial to everyone).

Self-Discipline

"Self-discipline is a form of freedom. Freedom from laziness and lethargy, freedom from the expectations and demands of others, freedom from weakness and fear—and doubt. Self-discipline allows a pitcher to feel his individuality, his inner strength, his talent. He is master of, rather than a slave to, his thoughts and emotions." — H.A. Dorfman The Mental ABCs of Pitching   

 "The individual who wants to reach the top in business must appreciate the might and force of habit. He must be quick to break those habits that can break him—and hasten to adopt those practices that will become the habits that help him achieve the success he desires." — J. Paul Getty
 

"We are what we repeatedly do, excellence then is not an act, but a habit." — Aristotle

 

"Success is actually a short race—a sprint fueled by discipline just long enough for habit to kick in and take over." — Gary Keller

 

"Success is a matter of understanding and religiously practicing specific, simple habits that always lead to success." — Robert J. Ringer

 

"The good Lord gave you a body that can stand most anything. It's your mind you have to convince." — Vince Lombardi

 

"Mastering others is strength. Mastering yourself is true power." — Lao Tzu

 

"Rule your mind or it will rule you." — Horace

 

"If we don't discipline ourselves, the world will do it for us." — William Feather  

"The first and best victory is to conquer self."

— Plato, Greek Philosopher

 

"Talent without discipline is like an octopus on roller skates. There's plenty of movement, but you never know if it's going to be forward, backwards, or sideways."

— H. Jackson Brown, Jr., Author

 "It is not enough to have great qualities; We should also have the management of them." 

— La Rochefoucauld

"A man without decision of character can never be said to belong to himself . . . . He belongs to whatever can make captive of him." — John Foster Author

 

"Mental toughness is many things and rather difficult to explain. Its qualities are sacrifice and self-denial. Also, most importantly, it is combined with a perfectly disciplined will that refuses to give in. It's a state of mind-you could call it character in action." — Vince Lombardi

 

"A successful career will no longer be about promotion. It will be about mastery." — Michael Hammer

 

 

 

"Mountaintops inspire leaders but valleys mature them." — Winston Churchill

 

"Everybody starts at the top, and then has the problem of staying there. Lasting accomplishment, however, is still achieved through a long, slow climb and self-discipline."

- Helen Hayes

 

 Let me . . . ; remind you that it is only by working with an energy which is almost superhuman and which looks to uninterested spectators like insanity that we can accomplish anything worth the achievement. Work is the keystone of a perfect life. Work and trust in God." — Woodrow Wilson

 

"The most important thing in the Olympic Games is not winning but taking part; the essential thing in life is not conquering but fighting well." — Pierre de Coubertin, founder of modern Olympic Games

 

 
"Happiness is dependent on self-discipline. We are the biggest obstacles to our own happiness. It is much easier to do battle with society and with others than to fight our own nature."
- Dennis Prager

 I think self-discipline is something, it's like a muscle. The more you exercise it, the stronger it gets.
- Daniel Goldstein

Self-discipline is an act of cultivation. It require you to connect today's actions to tomorrow's results. There's a season for sowing a season for reaping. Self-discipline helps you know which is which.
- Gary Ryan Blair

 "It is necessary to try to surpass one's self always: this occupation ought to last as long as life." — Queen Christina of Sweden

 

 "Never suffer your courage to exert itself in fierceness, your resolution in obstinacy, your wisdom in cunning, nor your patience in sullenness and despair. " — Charles Palmer

 

 

 

The only discipline that lasts is self-discipline.

Bum Phillips

 

I see my upbringing as a great success story. By disciplining me, my parents inculcated self-discipline. And by restricting my choices as a child, they gave me so many choices in my life as an adult. Because of what they did then, I get to do the work I love now.

- Amy Chua

Long-term, we must begin to build our internal strengths. It isn't just skills like computer technology. It's the old-fashioned basics of self-reliance, self-motivation, self-reinforcement, self-discipline, self-command.

- Steven Pressfield

"Nothing is more harmful to the service, than the neglect of discipline; for that discipline, more than numbers, gives one army superiority over another." — George Washington

Whether you call it Buddhism or another religion, self-discipline, that's important. Self-discipline with awareness of consequences.

- Dalai Lama

 

If you set goals for yourself, and you're like a lot of other people, you probably realize it's not that your goals are physically impossible that's keeping you from achieving them; it's that you lack the self-discipline to stick to them. It's physically possible to lose weight. It's physically possible to exercise more.
Daniel Goldstein

 

"Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself-and be lenient to everybody else." — Henry Ward Beecher

Teaching Dance: Work or Play?

Many people always come up to me and say "Wah you teach dancing full time ah?  So lucky to be able to work on something that you like!"  And unspoken in that is 'how I wish I could be like that and have a full time job on something that I love too'.

It's funny that many people think teaching dance just consists of going into the class, telling a bunch of people on what steps to take, how to take them, turn on the music and viola!..

The dance classes come about because of a series of things that are needed to be done to accumulate in an event that is the class.  Most people don't see all the work that goes on into this.  There are students to call for class, there are students schedules to arrange, there are syllabus and choreographies to be set up.  The prep work is significant, like many other kinds of jobs.  It is fun, but the hours are long, and topsy turvy to regular work hours (yeah, we work retail hours).

Honestly, I don't consider teaching work.  I enjoy sharing and teaching people, especially if I have a lot to share with them and they are like absorbent sponges.  What I consider work is the stuff that everyone else considers work: paying the bills, admin stuff, organizing schedules, settling enquiries, marketing and other stuff.  Teaching is the time that I make friends, socialize, contribute to society by sharing my knowledge with others.  Setting syllabi and choreographies are also not work, coz I genuinely enjoy the creation process, and it's my fun time.

I'm immensely grateful to be in a job that I love and that I enjoy doing.  I'm glad that I can have so much fun in my work, that I can make great and awesome friends, and that I can share so many things with many people and watch them grow and mature from beginners into great dancers.  It's so amazing to see their love, passion and appreciation for life grow through dancing.  I truly enjoy that and I am super humbled by this grace God has given me to be able to impact many people's lives.

I used to think that my talents are small and minor in the light of the things of the world.  I mean, what is dance compared to saving people's lives in medicine, or the ability to create amazing technologies, build fantastic houses and other things.  But now, I see the value I bring to people's lives, sometimes more than what money can buy.  In the mature people, I help them to maintain their fitness and health; I keep their feet and mind nimble, helping in the prevention of diseases so prevalent among the aged in our society.  In the young, I aid in building their coordination, musicality, discipline and help them to expend their energy, giving them a better, healthier and disciplined body to help in their mind studies and more.  In the teens and young adults, I can help build their aspirations, inspire them to be better people, give them avenues to mature into beautiful people, learn social skills and build relationships.  It's an awesome job when you actually step back and think about it.  It's humbling that I've been given such a position of influence, yet scary at the same time that it can seem like such a huge daunting task that is my life's calling.  (And this is where I'm glad that I have a God who guides me in all things I do)...

There is one thing that people do say to me quite often that I find frustrating...  They see that I work long hours and everyday, and think, "Wah you poor thing! You work so long hours, and everyday somemore.  Must make sure you have enough rest and have time for yourself."  They are well-meaning when they say that, but what they say is not exactly in my best interests, nor is it entirely accurate.

Yes, it is true that I clock long hours at my dance school, but this is also true of many people and their jobs: when work must be completed, we need to make an effort to finish them.  I just work slow (but I'm getting faster!).  Also, my work and play time has grey areas because they both occur in the same place, and I think this is the most misleading  part.  People can't see clearly when my work/play place and time are, because they occur in the same place, and much at the same time.

When I teach, it's play.  When I do admin stuff, it's work.  When I talk to students, it's sometimes work, sometimes play.  Admittedly, I had big problems differentiating between work and play when I first started doing this full time.  I still get confused from time to time, even now, after 10 years.  So I can't really expect others to be able to differentiate between my work and play time.  On top of that (as if it's not confusing enough), the people whom I teach and work with are also the people I spend my play time with.  It can get a tad frustrating if you let it get to you, but the benefits far outweigh the costs:

1)  I'm paid to do what I love, while others pay to do what they love.  By working in what I love, I am doing things that I enjoy most of the time.

2)  I save time and money on commuting to and fro.  Even though work and play can get confusing because they are both occurring in the same place,  one major advantage of this is that I can spend more time doing these things coz I don't have to factor in traveling time.  Many people spend 3 - 5 (or more) hours traveling from home to work to play and back home.  I don't have to do that, and as a result I can spend more productive time contributing to the things I love.  I can also concentrate all my energies to do these things, rather than worrying about rushing from one place to another.

3)  I get to work and play with the people I like, my friends!

4)  As mentioned earlier, I get to play a small role in enriching people's lives through dancing, health and more.  It's a true privilege.

5)  This one's a little bit chim, but the way we work, play and eat together, we live in a communal setting and this 'family' feeling is essential to our lives and welfare.  At times, it may seem stifling and over bearing, but I'm surrounded by people who care for me and vice versa.  We look out for each other, and even though we all have our flaws, we are a family.

By learning to give, being grateful and collaborating with one another, we can work together to do great things for our community and to help people around us, things that we cannot do as individuals.

Basic Instructor Course (BIC) - Express

This course is designed for people who cannot commit the time for a full course and can only spare the minimum amount of classes to learn to teach.

The express course requires the trainee to put in a minimum of 18 hours over 2 days to complete the course, and this is required for every dance genre.

Although we recognize the necessity for express courses, we only recommend this approach when there is no other alternative, as it is highly intensive and the body may not physically be able to take it.  It is recommended to take 3 months to complete the 50+hr dance instructor course. 

The SFDF and the Diploma in Dance and Performing course (6 months - 1 years) is a better course to take rather than the BIC, as it provides an all-rounded and in-depth focus in dance, teaching students to excel in dance and also introducing them to the dance industry and how to succeed in it.  The SFDF student takes up to 468hrs while the Diploma has 1248hrs of classes in the course.  These courses cover a lot more detail as compared to the BIC which only consist of 50hrs of classes.

Aceki Dance Teacher - Benefits

A dance teacher under Aceki has multiple benefits: we exercise for free (while we teach), we get to plan what and how we want to exercise, we have people to accompany us when we do our training.... 

A few added side benefits are making friends for life, learning how to work with people, practicing patience when you teach, and under Aceki, you can earn extra money on the side when you introduce products or events to your students and also get to take 1 hour of class for free for every hour of class you teach.

As a teacher, it takes a while to build up a new class and sometimes it may be a bit discouraging if your students don't stay with you for the long term.  I find that some students come and go, but there are some who will stay with you, because they like learning from you, and exercising with you, or you make them laugh. 

As a teacher, you can't really predict what kind of students will turn up for your class, and how long they will stay.  But so long as you can enjoy yourself in your classes, and sincerely try to give to them what they are coming down for, they would enjoy your class and bit by bit, more will return to class and also join the other classes that you teach.

It takes patience and faith to build up your classes so that many students will enjoy themselves and come back for more.  Don't give up during that process; in fact, use the times when you have few students to build up your repoire with your students individually (you can't do that with a large class and tend to loose some personal touch when you have a big class).  You can spend more time finding out about their likes and dislikes, and also use that time to pull them to parties and events that you have.  This would also get them to stay with you longer, as they make more friends and join more activities through you.

On Learning...

Teaching many students over the years, I've learned a thing or 2 about what makes students more teachable.

 
The best kinds of students a teacher could hope to get are those that are like a clean slate.  They don't have any prior opinions, they don't seem to know anything and they trust you to show them how to do it all.  Students like that are a dream come true because we don't have to spend time convincing them why they should do this rather then do that, why doing this will make you better than doing that, etc. 

For example, if I have 5 minutes with each student, I can spend that 5 minutes trying to convince the student to do Task 1 and why doing Task 1 will help them to improve, or I can spend the precious 5 minutes showing and teaching them to do Tasks 1,2 and 3.

Here is an illustration:

Teacher, "You must practice your spins everyday. Do it 3 times a day, for 5 minutes each."

Student, "Why do I have to do it?  I get so dizzy when I spin.  I'm so busy also, everyday is not possible."

Teacher (starts explaining and convincing the student to do the homework), "Spins are important in dancing.  When you first practice, you will find it hard, but if you practice everyday, you will improve and won't get so dizzy within a week or two....."

Or the conversation could go this way...

Teacher, "You must practice your spins everyday. Do it 3 times a day, for 5 minutes each."
Student, "OK i will do my best.  What else should I work on?"
Teacher (delighted in such a dedicated student replies), "Besides spinning, practice your isolations too.  After spinning, you can do body isolations for 5 - 10 minutes.  If you have more time, you can...."

If a student doesn't keep second guessing the teacher or thinks he knows better or his way is better, the teacher doesn't have to waste time thinking "How can I convince the student that my method of learning has been taught to many students, and all who followed my instructions wholeheartedly all succeeded and became good dancers?"  The teacher can then spend more of his energy to focus on how to make the student an even better dancer. 

I'm not suggesting that the student should blindly follow the teacher, but I feel that the students should not judge the teacher during the class (is what this teacher is saying better than what the other teacher taught me to do the other day?  I think that if I do it this way, it is better than what the teacher is saying now...). 

You take a class to learn.  Reserve your judgements for after the class.  During the class, learn all that you can, take all that you can from the teacher.  Even if you don't agree, put your opinions aside first.  Your teacher may have a different approach to what you are used to learning but it may produce the same or better results, but you never know it works if you don't try with an open mind.

You are there to learn, not teach the teacher or disrespect or humiliate him.  So focus your energies on learning.  If the teacher is open to it, you can share what you feel and humbly and respectfully present your opinions to him after the class.  But don't go into an argument with him in the class.

Working as a freelancer vs working in a team.

Pros & Cons:

Going outside as a freelancer gives you immediate benefits.  You can take up immediately what is on offer: like teaching with other schools, getting to choose your time and place your efforts in the things you want to do.

Working together using GGC may not seem like the best or most popular thing to do, but we can work in a group and grow together as a group.  If we have a clear idea of where we want to go and a have true goal to work towards, we have the potential to create something truly big.  We do hard honest work that slowly but steadily grow towards a larger goal.  An immediate benefit is that we don't have to bear the stress, load and burden alone.  When we stumble, we have others around us to hold on to us and to keep the boat rowing.  Even though it is harder and you need more patience (no immediate gratification), you can go further as a group, build bigger and stronger.

Compare this to building a house.  1 man can build a hut or a simple house.  It will take a couple of weeks and eventually, you can have a small hut that you can call your own.  It is simple, small and cosy, but it fits only 2 to 4 people.  A group of 7 men can organize a larger group of 30-50 men to build a large 50 storey building.  It may take 1-2 years (there is no immediate gratification) and you can't claim all the credit (you have to share it with 50 other people), but in the end, you have a 50 storey condominium with a swimming pool, gym, supermarket, garden, etc, and you can enjoy it with many friends.

One immediate downside that I see as a freelancer is that although you are free to make your own choices and decide what you want to do, most people usually don't have the experience to understand the market or the business.  They typically flit around taking whatever short term businesses they can do. 

It is rare that they would be able to plan far ahead as they would get so caught up in the little everyday things that they have no bandwidth or time to plan ahead to grow their business.  The upside to working in a GGC team is that there is a clearer picture of where we go as a group; sometimes, you don't have to plan the route or even know the whole picture (this is especially so if you are a junior in the team).  All you need to do is to trust your superior, follow instructions and you will be able to reap the benefits of the task.  And eventually when you have enough experience and expertise, you can take over the reins as leader and lead the group, but this will happen only after you prove that you have the ability to handle it and care enough to look out for everyone in the group.

Self Discipline & Care Enough

We can miss out on 99% of our blessing because we don't have the discipline or care enough to finish the things we start.  You can do everything right, persevere on through hard times but stop at the 98% mark and still not enjoy the success.  If I were to make a rocking chair, I assemble everything together bit by bit, with everything all done up except the chair seat, I could have spent many hours and days making the chair, but I still cannot use it because of that one last thing I need to put in.  I may have spent all that effort, but it would be wasted because I cannot reap the benefits of what I have made. 

There are times we all want to sleep a little bit longer, eat a little bit unhealthier, be a little bit lazier, but these things make life a lot more difficult.  Back to the chair analogy, if I had done everything, but was lazy and did not put one screw into the rocking chair, I may have an accident a few months down when my parents use the chair or a little nephew plays on it.  They may fall and injure themselves, just because I was a bit lazy and did not put enough care into finishing what I started.  I may have put a lot of love into making the rocking chair, but by deciding not to put in that screw because of my 1% lazy indulgence and assumption that it won't matter, I have caused injury or harm to others and myself.  Furthermore, nobody will trust in the rocking chairs I make in the future.

Real & Disciplined Balanced Lifestyle

Real and Disciplined Balanced Lifestyle
1.    Wake up early:  7.30am awake,   8.30am open shutter  (if not around, must have accountability)
2.    Drink 2 glasses of water  (to replenish water lost during the night)
3.    Exercise  (to get the engine running for the day)
4.    Eat Healthy  (to put the right nutrients into the body for energy and freshness )
5.    We are a support group:  ensure that we do these things together every morning  (exception for off day).
6.    Daily Work Tasks

Success to this game = acquiring great habits such that it doesn’t feel much like hard / tedious work anymore. 
Success also means more free time on our hands.  By increasing the speed of our tasks and the quality of our tasks, we have more time to pursue other things and plan for new exciting things.  We will become on top of our work and handle matters before due date;  we become proactive rather than reactive. We will be HAPPY.
By changing ourselves and our mindsets, we can attain success! =)

Normal vs Exceptional People

Routine of a Normal Person:

5am : wake up, exercise, go market

6am - 6pm : go to work, accomplish 20 work tasks

6pm - 11pm : take dance class / teach dance class, social dance, socialize

Daily Personal tasks: 25 tasks (exercise, go market, dance, socialize, cook, laundry, etc)

A regular person accomplishes 20 work tasks and about 25 personal tasks every day.

An exceptional person accomplishes more.  Exceptional people in work accomplishes 30 - 50 tasks a day at the initial stage, and progress to 100 things a day at work. 

Exceptional people then progress to become managers, senior managers and CEOs.  As they go higher up, they do lesser tasks but each task has higher points (eg, 30 - 50 points to manage a staff to do his 20 tasks which are 1 - 10 points in nature).  This gives them more free time on their hands but the problems they handle need more time, effort and heart to solve.

The way to success is to develop good habits to be able to do their required tasks everyday (and more), and to do it with a positive mindset.

“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
― Mahatma Gandhi

“Sow a thought, and you reap an act;
Sow an act, and you reap a habit;
Sow a habit, and you reap a character;
Sow a character, and you reap a destiny.”
― Samuel Smiles

“It will be difficult to break the habits of thinking (...) instilled in me, like tugging a single thread from a complex work of embroidery. But I will find new habits, new thoughts, new rules. I will become something else.”
― Veronica Roth, Divergent

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”
― Jim Ryun

“H is for Habit, winners make a habit of doing the things losers don't want to do.”
― Lucas Remmerswaal, The A-Z of 13 Habits: Inspired by Warren Buffett
“The only way we could remember would be by constant re-reading, for knowledge unused tends to drop out of mind. Knowledge used does not need to be remembered; practice forms habits and habits make memory unnecessary. The rule is nothing; the application is everything.”
― Henry Hazlitt, Thinking as a Science 

“Just do it! First you make your habits, then your habits make you!”
― Lucas Remmerswaal, The A-Z of 13 Habits: Inspired by Warren Buffett
“Good habits are the basic tools that will determine whether you are a tortoise
or hare in life!”
― Lucas Remmerswaal, 13 Habits.com the Tale of Tortoise Buffett and Trader Hare
“Habits define who we are from the outside in, more than who we are defines us from the inside out.”
― Jarod Kintz, 99 Cents For Some Nonsense
“Courage is a requirement for facing your fears, doing things differently, and applying any new habits that align with and support your goals.”
― John Manning, The Disciplined Leader: Keeping the Focus on What Really Matters
“Habits of action cultivated early in life lay the foundation for unique skill sets able to carve a path beyond the mundane and into the relevant.”
― Marian Deegan, Relevance: Matter More  

Expressive Expressions... Is it instinct or is it learned?

I have no idea how it was like for you growing up as a child, but for me, my childhood were filled with dreams, fantasies, stories of fairies, princesses, sword fights, elves, wizards... I flew high among the stars, I fought with big evil dragons, I danced with my prince charming... I had it all, I was what I wanted to be, I was basically a nerd. With my nose stuck in books after books of fantasies.

Besides my love for reading passed on to me by my father, I danced too. I took ballet classes since when I could remember. This love was passed down by my mother who said, "When I was young, I always wanted to learn Ballet but we were poor. Now I bring you to learn Ballet".

I remember my first lesson. I was wearing a dress and together with my sister, we went into this huge empty space brightly lit and full of mirrors. We were soon running around and before I knew it, we were taking Ballet classes. One month later would see a little me stubbornly refusing (for reasons that I couldn't fathom even then) to go into class, clingling tightly to my mother. Soon, I was going for Ballet class every Saturday, to sit and watch my sister take classes.

You would think that the teacher and dancer you see now would have taken to dance like ducks to water, but I didn't like dance when I first started.  In fact, I refused to take classes.  So my very kind teacher then allowed me to sit in the class and watch my sister and her dance mates learn all the steps.  It took a year for my mum to coax me back to join the class.  I have to thank my teacher, Ms Ho & my dear mum for their determination and persistence to put me into dance school.  (in hindsight, I really don't know why they were so persistent, but I'm thankful they were!)  After that, I fell in love with Ballet and the rest is history.

You would think that I was a great dancer from young... I was good, but not the best.  I was above average but not the best, at least I thought so.  I was a strong dancer (ok in terms of technique), but didn't have a clue about how to be expressive when dancing.  My teacher used to get a fellow student of mine to demonstrate 'expression' in class, while I was usually amongst those called out to demonstrate technique.  I used to look at her and wonder what did she have that I didn't, and why didn't I look like her?  It used to puzzle my little mind...

Things changed for me one day when I decided that I would play a little game everytime I danced.  I painted my fantasy world around me with each dance. I imagined that I was dancing in the most beautiful places: beautiful meadows, gorgeous waterfalls, etc.  The classroom faded out of sight and the music transported me into my fantasy world with sparkling sunshine, lush greenery, astounding snow-capped mountains and pristine lakes.  And suddenly, my teacher was praising me for having great expression and I was being called to demonstrate "expression".  I thought nothing of it, and was a bit sheepish that I was bored and hence distracted myself in class with this game... "So this is what expression is about?"  I asked myself, "just imagine that you have amazing scenery around you and get lost in that?"  It seemed so... superficial, I didn't dare say how I did it.

But it brought my dancing into a whole new level.  I scored the highest in class that year for exams (first time ever and I had been dancing for 4-5 years then).  I also won a junior Ballet competition that very year.  I was so young, I didn't even know what happened...  All I knew was that I could spin quite well because I had saw the prima donna in the Nutcracker dancing and was happily copying her at home and pretending to be her and doing all her spins and jumps; and I was daydreaming in class, trying to create (in my imagination) the best scenery to dance to.  Ahhh... the marvelous thoughts of a little child...

I guess all these experiences (and more) taught me some things about expression... You have to dare to do it; so long as you try, people will give you credit for trying and if you keep checking on your expression, you will get it the way you want it to look eventually.

Also, technique is only half the marks that the judge will give you.  You can have perfect technique, but that will only give you 50% of the marks.  The rest comes from your expression.  The way I see it, our steps are not perfect/complete unless your have the right 'feel' / expression in place.  Also, expression is something that is special because it comes from the heart; it's personal and unique.  No 2 people will have the same feel (unless they work very hard to look the same).

Many people are scared to express themselves when they dance, feeling vulnerable.  But i always tell them this:
1) People will give them credit for trying, and will support you for trying.  Your expression doesn't have to be perfect, you just have to try.  If you are good, others will compliment you; if it's not that good (yet), others will commend you for trying.  I have seen students who are 'favorites' when performing because their faces are so entertaining, and people cheer them on for putting on a good 'face', even though it is not the most perfect.

2) Practice it now, when you are training so that you can have a good guess how it will look like when you try to use it when you perform/ compete.  Many people put expression in the back burner, telling themselves that they will smile when they need to, and they always realize that it is not always the case when they see themselves later on video (it's too late by then though).

3) By trying to put at least some kind of expression, you will give me something to work on to correct you.  I can't comment, correct or teach you expression if you don't try.  If the face just clams up into what I call "zombie" mode, there is nothing to correct; expression is simply not there.  It's like me asking them to do a bodywave and them refusing to do it.  I can't correct it if I can't see it.

People kinda assume that expression is a given, it's instinct and it's either you have it or you don't.  Consider this: expressions (happiness, sadness, mischievousness) are controlled by muscles.  If you put in so much effort training your body muscles to perfect your techniques like spins, splits, jumps... Why can't you put in as much effort learning how to control your facial muscles?  Sure it doesn't look good when you first start, but neither did your spins or your bodywaves look good at the beginning.

Another food for thought: If expressions are natural and instinctive, then how to actors make a living?  Why do they go to acting classes? How do they make themselves cry/ be angry/ meek/ chirpy when they need to do so on screen?  Simply put, they practice them.  In fact, most acting classes contain a lot of practical exercises that focus on loosing your inhibitions and becoming less self conscious. 

The Reversal of Roles in Salsa Tourism

My essay on Salsa for the Sociology of Tourism, one I did in school... I think I had some interesting observations, but din have much time to write it down properly.... Oh well, maybe next time I'll edit it. I'm posting it here in case I loose my essay, like I did my last one on gender relations! 

Authenticity vs. Homogeneity 
Salsa tourism is the gathering of salsa dancers from all over the world in a place which organizes a festival or congress (e.g., Hong Kong) where world renowned instructors teach, perform and social dance in the event which spans at least 4 days. These stars are brought in from all over the world to attract locals and tourists alike to participate in the festival. They show off their famously unique moves during the festivals and are hailed as authentic salsa dancers with original and unique moves that define the borders of salsa[1]. A person participating in the festival can be what Cohen calls an “experiential tourist” who seeks out the “mystified” experience of meeting these famous dancers in person, watching them perform, learning from them, and also, dancing with them (1979a, 1985 quoted in Mowforth and Munt, 74; MacCannell, 102). Participants also come to see new dance steps that have been invented and discovered, and they have a desire for these real, authentic experiences that can lead them to discover more about themselves and the dance (Inglis, 6).

Famous dancers have a huge following of dancers who will emulate their dance style and dressing. An example is Frankie Martinez and the Korean salsa scene. Top dancers emulate his dance style and dressing: Martinez likes to hold the bottom ends of his shirt and toy with it while he dances; many dancers in Korea do that. He has a certain unique style that consists of very quick footwork interspersed with slow body isolations, which is also emulated in Korea. Many of his performances have been adapted; e.g., he dressed like a pirate in one of his performances in Korea and in the Hong Kong Salsa Festival 2006, a performer emerged in clothing that was cut and ripped to look like rags that a pirate would wear, dancing in a style that was clearly adapted from Martinez’s. A point to note here is the disjuncture between what is said and what is done. Salsa advocates creativity and innovativeness in its dance. New styles are vigorously praised, and yet, they are furiously replicated.

Salsa tourism, which encourages the sharing of knowledge in salsa, thus raises the problem of homogeneity. With the massive copying of the “authentic”, the dancing scene becomes resoundingly duplicated as people imitate the dances, style, dressing and even music of their idols. This, however, is encouraged by the stars and the organizers behind the salsa festivals: imitation implies that the dancer is famous, and this ensures that he does not run out of business because his idols will pay to see him dance and teach. They will also buy his instructional DVDs and take additional classes from him. These will increase his status, wealth and power within the salsa scene. Mowforth and Munt (2003) in Tourism and Sustainability: Development and New Tourism in the Third World defined ideology as “the way relationships of power are inexorably interwoven in the production and representation of meaning which serves the interests of a particular social group” (46). The ideology of the authentic salsa dancer is endorsed by the festival organizers who commodify and sell him in the festival, thereby giving the dancer a good reputation which allows both of them to benefit. This commodification of a person is similar to that of a pop star, and in the context of salsa festivals, the more popular an artiste is, the higher price he fetches. Salsa festivals and celebrities survive on this commodification of the authentic good: the dancer.

As we have seen so far, salsa tourism attracts tourists to a locality by promising an experience of a lifetime in dancing with the top salsa dancers in the world. This commodification of the celebrity dancer has imperialist undertones: the world renowned dancers are from USA and Europe, largely colonial countries. This is due to the fact that Salsa was popularized in the USA and spread to Europe and then to Asia (where it is still relatively new). The salsa ‘hub’ is viewed to be in Los Angeles and New York, an environment whereby the standard is the highest and where most of the famous dancers originate. The inconsistent developments in the standard of dancing result in the unequal structural relationships in the salsa tourism industry whereby the less developed Asian countries adopt a more passive role in the festival by idolizing the celebrity dancers from the west and paying them to endorse their festivals (Stephen Britton quoted in Mowforth and Munt, 49-50).

Role Reversal 

There are four categories of people we see in salsa festivals: the overseas artists, the local artists, the overseas participants and the local participants. My focus here is on the overseas artists in the festival. As clearly evident in the preceding paragraphs, the “authentic” commodity in salsa tourism is not the local culture or heritage but the tourists – the overseas artists – themselves. As such, there is a role reversal in salsa tourism, whereby the authentic is the tourist who makes himself the object of attention. Through the overseas artists, salsa tourism effectively draws overseas salsa fanatics into the country. Moreover, it also entices the local crowd to participate. However, unlike other forms of tourism, the locals are not the object of focus here; they are like local tourists, who come to see the “authentic”, and may undergo a liminal phase which temporarily “suspends” them from their norm to indulge in play and fantasy like a tourist (Tucker, 151).

In social dancing[2], the artists are the objects of the participants’ gaze (Urry, 1990a quoted in Mowforth and Munt, 72). These participants consume the “other” - the professional dancer - in their efforts to reach the romanticized perfection of dancing salsa (Lippard, 2-5; Mowforth and Munt, 73). The dancers are video-recorded and photographed, and it is a thrill for the participants to dance with them, which is all part of the experience of the salsa festival. This is similar to Tucker’s “living museum”, where tourists interact with the locals in what they view as the natural environment of the local in their quest for the authentic experience (149). In this case, the social environment where the dancers are dancing socially and not a choreographed routine is the dancer’s natural environment and it is here that the participants want to interact with them by dancing with them.

Unlike the normal form of tourism, the fetish[3] of the salsa participants to see and experience the authentic and real dancer is not necessarily bad for the celebrity. The main reason is because the power relationship in this form of tourism is different from the regular kind. As mentioned, the artiste benefits from his fame. In a normal tourism structure, the power lies in the hands of the first world country that flocks to third world countries to view the exotic “other”. This is due to the fact that the third world is reliant on the first world to market their country and organize the tourists to go to their country (Mowforth and Munt, 50). In salsa tourism, the power still lies in the hands of the first world (e.g., USA). The difference is in that the exotic Other is the first world tourists themselves who have the power to choose which country to go to. Moreover, they are not subjected to the whims and fancies of the participants who come to see them; this is drastically different from the “helpful, smiling and servile” local who serve the tourists on a typical tour (Mowforth and Munt, 64). Rather, these performers are worshipped and held in high regard as the exotic and talented Other whom the participants idolize and seek to emulate.

Therefore, salsa tourism is a new form of tourism that is an institutionalized bubble which is set up by the West to accumulate capital from the “rest”. It enables them to go to a place where salsa is less developed, so that they have a chance to “play” at being a celebrity and be idolized by participants (Tucker, 151). This is not very different from the tourists who go to third world countries to be pampered by the locals and indulge in luxuries (Inglis, 6). In this case, the tourist gaze is intentionally fixed on the dancer, who thrives in the idolization of being the superior Other. The fetish becomes like worship, which is but another form of imperialism.

Conclusion
 
Although salsa tourism has imperialist undertones, one can see the emergence of the resistance to it. As Asia catches up in the salsa scene, there is the emergence of new dancers who are striving to re-invent their identity, resisting the inferior implications of their dancing (Tucker, 157). This was seen in the Hong Kong Open Salsa Competition held in the festival, where couples from India, Korea and Singapore emerged with a unique style of their own that can pose a strong challenge to the domination from the west. This may bring about a balance in the unequal opportunities that have arisen in the salsa tourism sphere and redefining the power relations within Salsa tourism.


Bibliography

Inglis, Fred (2000) The Delicious History of the Holiday, chapter 1, New York: Routledge.

Lippard, Lucy R. (1999) “Introduction: On Rubbernecking”, in On the Beaten Track. Tourism, Art and Place, New York: New York Press

MacCannell, Dean (1976) “Staged Authenticity”, in The Tourist: A New Theory of the Leisure Class, Introduction, New York: Schocken Books, ch. 5.

Mowforth, M. and Munt, I. (2003) Tourism and Sustainability: Development and New Tourism in the Third World, London and New York: Routledge, ch.3

Tucker, Hazel (2002) “Welcome to Flintstone’s Land: Contesting Place and Identity in Goreme, Central Turkey” in Tourism: between place and performance, edited by Simon Coleman and Mike Crang, Oxford: Berghan.

Footnotes
 [1] Usually what are authentic are the famous names that are endorsed by the Salsa scene in the world, with Los Angeles and New York leading the way. Dances that are a hot favorite among the audience are strongly endorsed and “authenticated” by the salsa population. The “unauthentic” are disliked and not endorsed by anyone. 
[2] Social dance, unlike performance, is deemed to be a natural setting in dance, much like a backstage (MacCannell). This is due to the fact that social dancing is not choreographed with one’s partner or with the music, and deemed to be instinctive and “made up” intuitively to the mood of the music. This is compared to a performance, which is choreographed and clearly staged for the audience (a front stage). 
[3] Fetish is defined in Mowforth and Munt (2003) to be the underlying way in which social relationships of production are disguised or covered up (67).

My In-Charge

It is not I but you who runs this place.
You will take care of the people.
You will take care of the accounts, the finance.
You are head of our sales and marketing department.
It is not I but You who teaches the students and plans their growth.
You chart our future and growth.

It is not You helping me to do things; I am just an empty vessel. 
You are the one doing ALL the brain work, the leg work, the planning work, Everything.

I can't do it and I don't want your help to make me do it.
I want You to do it; coz I can't do it like You do.
You are my boss,
You are my present,
You are my future.
I don't want to be in charge; You are my in charge.

No longer You helping me to run my life (where I still have to run it, I still have a say in matters, I make all the decisions, You only help).
Now You will bypass me to run my life.
My only decision is to let You run it.
I only have to flow with it.
I only have to rest in it.

Zech 3-4

What Men & Women want, how to find the right kind of people, and how does dancing help!

Why dating events are good way of meeting ppl... 

In events (and my area of expertise is dance), participants are put in situations / activities and it's a great place to see how ppl behave in situations. High-stress situations can show how we react to stresses in our life, especially when we are out of our element. 

After viewing the dating show, 'it's a date', you get to see how ppl react and the impression it leaves on others. Of course it doesn't truly reflect our normal characters, but we can learn from these situations and learn how to react and how not to behave. 

Another interesting observation is that the best looking ones are not the winners here. Rather, the most adorable girl or the most 'damsel in distress' get picked; the guy that can make the girls feel the most comfortable and who take charge without being dominating tends to win out in this game. 

Is it really a surprise? Not really. Even though it seems obvious when we sit down n think about it, somehow on the superficial level we tend to forget it.  Men like to help women, but not be taken advantage of.  When they can help out, they feel important and useful.  But the thing they hate most is to be taken advantage of.  They like to be respected.  (Actually this applies to women too!)  When it comes to dating and relationships, many women tend to forget that, and usually, that's when things go haywire.

Women, on the other hand, like men who can entertain them; men who can tell jokes and can see humor in things that they do can make women laugh and that's important to them.  They like men with quiet confidence, who are secure in who they are, but who also respect them, who can take charge when needed, but is not domineering.

Actually, when we take a step back and see, we can tell that the qualities that we are looking for are the same, be it for a man or woman.  We are all looking for someone who is comfortable in their own skin, and are secure in who they are.  We are looking for someone who can find humor in things they do, with a zest for life, but who also can be serious and get things done when needed.  Someone responsible, but who doesn't take themselves too seriously and can laugh at themselves if needed.  We also like people who respect us, and by respecting, it means that they take the time to listen (not dominate), and are not afraid to change their minds if they feel that their partner has a better solution to problems.

Looking at this, it seems that the qualities we are looking for are character qualities, not superficial qualities.  However, our actions don't necessarily reflect this.  For example, we seem to automatically gravitate towards better looking, attractive ppl and place the less attractive ones on the sidelines, especially in situations that only allow for short interactions.  Nobody likes being labelled and stereotyped, but we tend to do so -all to some degree - because sometimes we don't have the time to learn more about each other.

Teaching many ppl how to dance and seeing many interactions between people has opened my eyes to a lot of things (though I don't claim to be an expert).  I have learnt to understand characters by their responses (mannerisms and speech).  I also learn to understand them by their innate unconscious responses in daily menial tasks.  People who spontaneously help out without asking, who offer assistance in things are the keepers.  They may not be the best speakers or the most charming, but they 'got your back' and will help when you need.  These are true friends; whether they become more than friends, time will tell.  But I want them in my life as friends and buddies because I know I will have a great time in whatever we do.

Some people go around frantically from boyfriend to boyfriend (or girlfriend to girlfriend) trying to find the someone who 'completes' them.  I heard this from my pastor talking about BGR and find it to be so true.  If you find someone because he/she completes the other half of you, it never works.  After a while, you will still find that part of you empty.  You need to first be comfortable, secure and confident in your own skin, find someone who is also comfortable and secure in his/her own skin, and come together to become 200% (100% + 100% = 200%, not 50% + 50% = 100%).  Needy people are hard to build life together with as they consume a lot of your energy, you spend time fighting fires (reassuring doubts) rather than growing together.  A 'whole' person (for want of a better word) doesn't necessarily need to be super confident and doesn't need to know everything... the opposite actually...  

That whole person is wise / humble enough to know that he/she doesn't know everything, and is comfortable with that.  He/she doesn't feel a need to demonstrate how much he/she knows; but is more concerned about the welfare of others rather than what others think of him/her.  We are attracted to people who give, rather than people who take.  Rather than trying to get or find the right person for you, work on being the right person and you will attract the right kind of people,and have many people for you to choose from. 

And now where does dancing come into play with all these?  (Dance is my life so of course it comes into play! haha...)  I may be traditional in thinking, but I feel that there is an element to dancing (partner dances) that subtly and inevitably teaches men and women to behave in certain ways that works in a relationship... 

I'm gonna just touch on the surface here, otherwise it will be too long to read.  When 2 people come together to dance, the men leads; the woman has to be willing to be led (she has to let him lead).  Note that she is not a docile obedient piece of equipment for him to push and pull around, but a living and breathing body that is placed in his hands to guide.  He has to cherish her, take care of her, lead her into amazing moves that she otherwise would not be able to do on her own.  The lady, by releasing her will to him and allowing him to take over control of her movements, must learn to flow within his movements.  She is not 'mindless'; she is balanced on her own, she moves her own feet, etc, but the catch is that she moves in sync with him.  She has to learn to listen to his cues in order to flow with him.  She assists by supporting him and following him if he falters.  

The man has to plan his moves, and the planning of his moves includes his partner's, and move both of them to flow together so that they both move in sync together flowing from one movement to the next.  The key is that in order for them to move fluidly together, they have to learn how to communicate: listen to each other's movements, and react to accommodate and flow from one movement to the next.  It's a piece of art that is different with every partner, and someone who understands this can relate it to life.

Of course it's not an exact science and there are other things to observe, but I find this to be true and feel that this kinda helps us to become better partners in a relationship.  =)

Student Performance Jun 2013

Haven't blogged in a long while, let's check out if the writing muscles are still there.   We had our latest student recital over the weekend...

Amazingly, after all these years of performing, I can still get excited over our recital and performances.  I think it’s because I like doing the choreography and dancing to the music... And the hidden exhibitionist in me is excited to legitimately shed it’s protective covering.  Or maybe it’s the fact that I get to immerse myself in dancing and performing rather than just watching, correcting and teaching.  Although I really do enjoy teaching, there are times when just dancing happily ‘without a care in the world’ can be so soothing for the soul.

The minor glitch with certain customers before the show helped to feed my emotions as I poured my frustrations in the dance in the first segment.  And that’s one of the main reasons why dancing is so addictive. Whatever probelms you’re facing or overwhelming emotions that you are facing that day, you can just throw it away temporarily, forget about past things that happened, and not worrying about the future.  Dancing is a very NOW thing.  Although it’s less so with the invention of videos, to fully experience and appreciate dance, it must occur in the Now.  It’s a very physical and present thing that consumes your energy and focus.  It’s a wonderful distraction and if you know how to, a great way to channel excess energies and frustration away.

After these few weeks of feeling slightly overwhelmed and slightly inferior to many people in my life (dun ask why I just do sometimes... Maybe it's to remind me of my humility), even discouraged by my inability to handle things, I realize one thing, that I truly have been blessed and graced in the dance and teaching department.  That even though I dun quite know what I’m doing sometimes, it works out great and I’m constantly learning.  If anything, teaching challenges me to be a better person, to encourage, support and motivate people to do things that they may not think they would do, but then surprise themselves in the end.  That in itself is a great reward and money can’t buy that kind of joy we have.  In conclusion, I see this: my world may be small, and  my influence not that great, but the lives that I touch, I try my best to nurture and I do see the changes in their lives.  If anything, I understand one thing: everyone wants someone to care and someone to love.  It may not be romance but it can be family. We may not like each other all the time, but we love and we care for one another and we're willing to sort out our differences.  That’s what makes the difference.

Surprisingly, I was excited about the performance tonight.  Maybe because I liked the dances I did, or because there were many newbies in the group and I was excited for them, but I felt great: young and new again... or maybe it was that I simply got the chance to show my love of dance to others...

 Although the show went by in a flash, the actual performances kinda went like slow motion for me; I actualy had time to think of doing the right expression, the next step, etc.  It’s kinda weird that I didn’t feel it go rushing by as I usually do.  But it made the fun more complete as I got the time to savor the dances.  Role playing was rather fun and I must say that it’s been a while since I did that, making me savor it more.

As a whole, this bunch of students have been a joy to teach and see them grow.  We had many great laughs and fun times that I'll cherish... =)